Its Diwali today!! The excitement that was visible in me when i left for home has faded by this time. Something is somehow amiss.The festival this year is not the same.I am not sad over anything in particluar neither i am too happy to be celebrating.Is it the growing unrest over my distorted interest in my job, or is it the hopelessness of not being able to move back home,now that m tired of living out,or is it a fact that things are not same?No idea.Just blank.I am not looking forward to anything big taking place in near future.There is no reason to be much happy for whats in store in few days.Work is boring, life is just okay and there are no miracles happening anymore.Getting used to be taking decisions on my own has been a tough task for me always.I think and think over opportunities and options and come back finally to where i was one day before .So, it kinda doesnt help me.Sometimes,I wonder what takes me back in taking bold desicions or even the smallest ones.Probably,lack of self confidence,fear of failure, pessimism,fear of losing hope or what?None of them.Something else, i dont know.Maybe god knows..:)
Anyways, at times, i find myself at extremes of emotion-sad, happy and gloomy.Typical cancerian,U know!!:)
When i am sad, m very sad, when i feel lonely, i feel so insecure and like crying and cribbbing,when i feel happy, i make others laugh.. :)
Anyways, that was me and by end of this post, my happy mood has regained momentum so i must move and see whats happening in house..
Silly me..:)

Festival Of Lights

The lamps are lit, the shops are decorated, there is a sweet smell of fresh sweets in the air, the people are in a hustle bustle with loads of gift wrapped packs of dry fruit and sweets to be delivered in a hurry.The view at night is all the more fascinating.The light of erathen lamps, light bulbs and ladian or chinese lights has belittled the darkness of amavasya.Its a big, bright night devoid of silence.The undending noise of the burning crackers is speaking loudly, the arrival of victory of Rama, the welcome ceremony of laxmi/dhan in households.The bells and chants are heard from every home.The crowd thronging the temple, laxmi-ganesh Pujan and the traidtional jalebi and milk doing the rounds is filling the air with sacred pride.We, the Indians,take pride in celebrating one of the most famous festivals of all times,Diwali!!
May every home be lighted today and may everybody have a smile on their face!!

O re manwa tu to bawra hai!!

Tu hi jane tu kya sochta hai bawre, jo barse sapne boond boond, naino ko moond ke..kaise me chalun , dekh na sakun, anjane raste, gunja sa hai koi ektaara....Rut hai ye dol pal ki ya rahegi sada, kise pata!!


How beautiful and meaningful.... Ohk, this is again a blog which glorifies the meaning of the amazing song from Wake up Sid, but it was worth giving it a shot!!
Ah..i will try not to bring up those stories of emotions again, try not promise.. :):)

Heart, man, dil, pagal...so many names of the beautiful relationship maker and breaker( Lol) Heart!! how beautiifully captured are the above lines, centered around the heart, the actions that one takes all dependent on what heart says. risk being that if things dont turn the way they should, u cant blame anybody else except u and ur heart ofcourse!! (Lol)

Yes, the context here is that even from the darkness of an uncertain future, not thinking of consequence,, people fall into love, to fall or rise for that matter, all credit/blame going to their desicions and ultimately to heart/mind(Read follow ur heart/mind) .
Often, when we think logically, we land up in safe investments, of time, love and effort.
But if we follow our hearts, we enter a risk Zone, shared by both you and the one you love, both subsiding fear of losing each other, ultimately coming up from fear which turns into a trust.Here, the workds depict the same feeling of fear, of walking in dark and capturing the light of love, confused as to whether the light is true or not...
Beautiful, isnt it..Now next time you hear the song, i bet you will find more meanings of the song!!

The good bad bye!!

The thought of this bye thing has been creeping in my mind since this evening.I have felt the " Bye syndrome" millions of times so finally decided to convert it into words.

So, so, so..Ever felt a tinge of pain and loneliness saying that Bye as a phone conversation ends with your dear ones..Ever felt a surge of momentarily sadness at putting down the receiver?Ever felt it difficult to speak those last words"Take care " as you end a lovely relationship? Ever felt a Strange sensation as a person u like a lot, departs to his own woven world, saying you "Bye , Stay in touch" ???If the answers are yes, you arent the stone hearted man/woman you think you are..:-)

Jokes apart, i just mean to capture that beautiful moment of realisation. realisation of a seperation, a detachment from what was on your mind and heart few minutes r years back, as the case maybe!!Dont know whether it happens with all or not, but happens a lot with me.I talk to my family often but at times, that "Bye" makes me feel nostalgic and lonely, makes me realise that i am far from them, i am not an active part of their world, or when talking to a friend after missing her a lot, that "Bye" makes me remember the times of bonding, or when in a difficult situation and turning upto friends for sympathy calls( read funny but true),the " bye" there makes me feel that howver close they can be, they can never fight in a way your inner strength can...Also, bidding farewell to people i know, makes me feel strange,detached and makes me realise that i will be building my survival mechanisms somewhere else, leaving behind memories, places, things and all......

Sounds hopeless, doesnt it..:)

But truth is that, emotions reside in every heart.Everybody feels the hurt.Everybody blooms with happiness at success and acheivement,.Everybody mourns the loss of something or someone dear.But, the intensity is different.The way energies are chanelised is different.The rescue operations, i.e. how to cope factor determines how strong or weak one is..
But they say, to each his own, so let it be..:)
Life is all about variety...Millions of people, trillions of emotions..:)
Bye take care