Its Diwali today!! The excitement that was visible in me when i left for home has faded by this time. Something is somehow amiss.The festival this year is not the same.I am not sad over anything in particluar neither i am too happy to be celebrating.Is it the growing unrest over my distorted interest in my job, or is it the hopelessness of not being able to move back home,now that m tired of living out,or is it a fact that things are not same?No idea.Just blank.I am not looking forward to anything big taking place in near future.There is no reason to be much happy for whats in store in few days.Work is boring, life is just okay and there are no miracles happening anymore.Getting used to be taking decisions on my own has been a tough task for me always.I think and think over opportunities and options and come back finally to where i was one day before .So, it kinda doesnt help me.Sometimes,I wonder what takes me back in taking bold desicions or even the smallest ones.Probably,lack of self confidence,fear of failure, pessimism,fear of losing hope or what?None of them.Something else, i dont know.Maybe god knows..:)
Anyways, at times, i find myself at extremes of emotion-sad, happy and gloomy.Typical cancerian,U know!!:)
When i am sad, m very sad, when i feel lonely, i feel so insecure and like crying and cribbbing,when i feel happy, i make others laugh.. :)
Anyways, that was me and by end of this post, my happy mood has regained momentum so i must move and see whats happening in house..
Silly me..:)