Marriages, they say are made in heaven.True indeed.Are they really solemnised on earth? A million dollar question.It is more of a question that one should find answer to before tying the nuptial knot.Speaking of making marriages work, my opinion is that a marriage should be a union of mindsets,visions and souls.United souls for me mean amalgamation of understanding of differences in attitude, weaknesses, negativities, positivities and tolerance of each other.If you talk of compromises, yes, living under same roof and nurturing each other's life with love, care and dedication requires a lot of patience and compromise.But compromise should never be a compromise rather it should be tagged as understanding of differences. When these differences start becoming compromises, love doesnt flourish, it sustains itself.And life is about evolution, besides sustenance.This sustenance becomes intolerable when both parties start counting the compromises they have been making and the wall of bonds and relationships develops a crack.
I guess you cannot sustain with a person who cant bring smile on your face, who doesnt let you be yourself atleast at some times when all you want is being yourself. Possessiveness is negative but can be overcome with time when flowers of trust start blooming in your life.
However, if you look around, you will find lot many marriages surviving, despite the cracks, surviving generations galore,but is the happiness still there? Are those people living for themselves? Yeah, i agree living for the other person is what a great marriage may imply but if that is by an obligation rather a will, you cannot call it a succesful one.Controlling urges, wishes and dreams to be in a world of responsibilities and obligations where every action brings a forced smile to your face, is not what your life is really meant for.I guess its easily said than done.Agreed.
I guess love should be free like a bird, flying high with sparkle in eyes to take on the world in its flight. A marriage should be an epitome of acceptance,acceptance of differences, but this has to be mutual because one sided acceptance will become compromise, which will turn the flourishing relation to a sustaining one.You should like the person's thinking and attitude and his/her ability to handle differences.If one is emotionally weak, the other must be a supporting pillar in unfavourable times.If one is introvert, other must be sensible enough to understand silence.If one is short tempered, other must be calm and composed to an extent that he/she can adjust to the temper.Besides, all these weaknesses, understanding is a must.Ego is a big no when it comes to marriage.You may be an egotist by attitude but when it comes to conflicts, shed that characteristic, if you really want to be happy.Coz being egotist with your reflection, your better half, is no good idea.Also,You must understand the person heart and soul.You should be knowing when it hurts.
Last but not least, never repeat mistakes.Shed tears,talk to people, but do not speak words in haste that may make you regret.Heart once broken can be mended, but hurting again and again creates deep wounds which cripple the love and care that you invest in relationship and ultimately, it breaks bitterly never to be brought together again.
On an ending note, would just say that its easy when you let things go.When tempers rise, when faith is shaken, when minor mistakes happen, be calm, forget everything for a while, try smiling and then think again about the problem.Conflicts happen, they always will.But when it starts going beyond boundary, stop and shut yourself.Think about the ceremonies which bound you together.Think about the chants of panditji, blessings of all, the words you swore in front of all, when you took blessings of your parents after you got officially married, your good times...And you will wonder that negativity has converted into bful memories...
Wondering whether it was me who wrote such detail about marraige..:)
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