Some questions to myself!

I had been holding a dream for a while.And the excitement, and good things coming my way made it visible again.A hope rose from nowhere and i started believing that sooner or later, i will turn that dream into a reality.A path where all will be new, alive and full of life, as i want it to be.I hoped that i will,sooner or later,create a masterpiece of love and care with my experiences and encounters with life till now- that the biggest meaning to my life, my most sought after wish, that the thirst to get understood and cared for, the biggest promises i will make, all will be a reality well enjoyed and cherished by me.But, i feel it all trampled amidst some thoughts of uncertainty and destiny.What is there in store for me now that i have held the hand of destiny and looking out with open eyes in my search for brightness? Will that silent wish, lying deep within, always open to speak out but filled with uncertainties, be fulfilled as i want it? Or will compromises show on my faded smiles? Will those smiles that really come from my contented heart be the same or will those speak of a different language, or will they be epitome of acceptance? Because i want this decision, this wish to be as it is,i want that blessing in disguise to be a prompt thing, not something i need to " think about" and then coming upto the conclusion.I wanted to react according to the signals my heart gives,even if they are wrong, but somewhere, inside, i wanted my heart to speak out and mind to be silent. The confidence that i will bless someone's life with my presence may be called nothing by those who dont understand,will it mean everything, as it does to me to the one who i seek? Will our dreams match? Will my wish to be pampering and caring for even the smallest things in "his" life be trampled under some practicalities? Will it be living under same roof or really a confluence of hearts?Will the dream to respect and love his parents be a distant one? Will they think the same about my harmless intentions? Will the new meaning i seek and the care i will shower be understood?
Maybe yes, maybe blended with some compromises.I dont know as of yet.But if it doesnt, all will still be well but that dream will be trampled and i fear that.I will cope up but will i really? I again do not know.Why i think this right now? I do not know. What am i heading to? I do not know. It will be the way it has to be,still it troubles me.Prompts me to think and act.Prompts me to seek solace.I feel like a kid who is not getting his favourite bicycle at such time.I feel like kneeling down and asking god for a miracle at that moment.But, somewhere the belief still limps that all will be well, and if isnt,it will not be worse either!
P.S . :- The obvious answers are , as always known to me and all, but sometimes, i like these self talks which make me wonder after i have written that whether it was me thinking this serious stuff at the time ! so, this writeup doesnt seek any answers.. :-)