Been there,done that!

Could have been my exact state of mind,had i achieved what i was hoping for!Still,some victories come far too difficult than you expect them to!Never mind, there's always a tomorrow!But i just hope that i retain the desire to achieve the same things over time and work for them.Because persistence is always easier said than done.The title of this post, came through to me as someone's FB status who achieved the same goal i wished for,sometime ago.Hoping to land in same feet,i guess i underestimated myself earlier and didn't do well,relying on last minute preparations.
Well, lets see how it goes,if only i plan a next time!!

Till then,theres always tomorrow!

If you are a writer!

If you are a writer,you can never get lonely,
If you are a writer,you rejoice reading deep,twisted lines having simplest of meanings.
If you are a writer,you end up writing pages with a single thought in mind.
If you are a writer,you catch hold of your blog when you  feel sombre,
If you are a writer,you don't want to repeat words(i am hating repeating the first few lines,but thats the way it is supposed to be ).
If you are a writer,you apprehend things too deeply too often(which isn't required sometimes :-P).
If you are a writer,your words are self assuring many a times,
If you are a writer,you love it when your literary skills are put to test.
If you are a writer,you pen things down just when you feel you are not at your best.
If you are a writer, you end up creating beautiful write-ups in extremes( when you are too happy or too sad) or probably feeling too technical(for the geeky bloggers).
If you are a writer,you would never let go of your blog completely
If you are a writer, you dream a lot, think too much and say too little about your dreams.
If you are a writer,you are amazed every time you look at your past blogs.
If you are a writer,you see the world with your own picture every time you write something.

If you are a writer,you agree with me in at least some of the things mentioned above :-D

Talking for the sake of it!!

We humans are strange creatures.We just train ourselves to see,listen,remember,speak,forget and move on.But our "words" remain.They say,"You can't get back what you have said,so mind your words!" Indeed,but wish it was simple.Wish there was a rewind button or much better a mute button,which we could all press,when upset or in anger or maybe just talking for the sake of gossiping, and then unmute when we were done.Wish it was that simple!

I sincerely feel regret,lots of it when i think about a friend,who probably overheard me speaking about something and turned our friendship sour.It breaks me heart every time i think about it.Happened for the first time and left me feeling terrible! I had found a very good friend in her,and just when we were about to get close,my stupid gossips made me lose her.I chose not to discuss anything and we both just drifted apart. At times,i did think of talking to her about it but then,i wondered,she might not understand,as she didn't know that much about me.Well, the fault was all mine!Such is life,every moment is precious and has a worth of its own.But then,i guess,we don't have the choice at times.Life gives us handful of people to choose and carry along and situations,pure situations out of nowhere ,decide who and how we carry some of our friends along,no matter what!

women!

It has been a heavy day.Too much to absorb,heard something about a friend which deeply moved me from within and led me to question life,relationships and introspect if running after our goals is all worth it? Whatever, such heavy stuff makes me sad and detached. A random news update on TOI, about how sadly women in the country are treated,almost everyday,is enough to propel you in the sinking sea of awareness and empathy. I feel a mixed set of anger and sadness developing within me when i hear stories about how cruel men ,think and act as if  they possess the women in their life.Well, society,blame it! I love U.S. culture in this regard and feel happy that women here are independent,happy and stand for themselves.Everyone works for himself or herself and speak up when they need to. Back in India,the fear of rejection from society,dependence on husbands for money,future of children, and x number of factors force women to stay indoors and tolerate injustice, which is unjustified most of the times.I watched the movie ' Lunchbox' recently and liked the subtle lesson the movie hints at. Blessed i feel,to be raised up in an encouraging environment and to be surrounded by people who have always let me be free, who have let me think and act on my own always.

Glittery!

Just like the theme in blog shows up,every one wants their life to be glittery and all golden.Atleast i do.What does my blog background remind you of? For me,it makes me remember festivals,carnivals,celebration, a romantic proposal,a beach side shack with dance and music,a holy temple studded with beautiful lights, a retro film,a reading room with a cozy cushion to lie down and read a book, beautiful me.Many many things.That is the power of mind.One small thing and millions of memories.And so is Deja Vu,it seems like it happened when it didn't,ever.Happens in my dreams,though.I remember family,friends in myriad ways, and such funny stories, that i fail to recollect the  weird details after :-)

Well,coming onto glitter,wish life could be just like that, a glittery background and a centre piece in between,such that whatever it is,it is always overshadowed by the glitter.And somehow strangely i remember  these lines from one of my  favourite movies :"hum sab to rang manch ke katputhliyaan hain jinki dor upar vale ki ungli pe bandhi hain kab kaun kaisa uthega yeh koi nahin batha sakta hai"

And yet,we dare to dream,every day!

Want to write fiction 55 but all i can think is sad surprises.Want to end in a positive note,though.


It was raining hard when she began shouting  at autowallah to stop.It halted with a screeching sound of water splashing at her dress.It was her first day at work.Looking at her watch all the way long, she got out hurriedly.He said "Life is short,have fun".Now,she is always smiling.




No idea how it was.

Haphazard Dots!

I have just put together watever came to my mind into a poem.Does that or doesnt that make sense?
Go  figure.

"I wanted to fly,but  they wont let me try,
The rain is falling outside,and am left to dry.
Two sides of coin,do they put things at ease,
when you are cold,you really don't need the breeze.
What to do and not to do,
Colors of life-  Red or blue?
Haven't you been focussing on the red dot all along,
you kept chasing it and it took you so long.
And when you are near,you discover that its the blues you have been chasing so far,
You are torn between two worlds- just at the wrong hour.
Millions of ticks late, you have lost your hour,
New clock to look at,you have come too far.
Hold on,coz the cycle repeats,
There will be many chances,till your heart beats."

Solitude

 Solitude brings out the best in you or may bring out the worst,if not channelised properly.Our mind is a big genius in itself and our heart is second to none either.While the mind has the power to think,overthink,analyze and comprehend-destructively or constructively, our ever-beating heart has a capability too,to control our thoughts.It is easy to shut those parts of mind which produce destructive thoughts and we all do it,frequently,knowingly or unknowingly. Coming back to solitude,i have on my mind an example of a lady i met at a library near my place,an year ago.She visits the library frequently and volunteers in events and reading clubs etc.I met her at one such volunteer event, and i found her to be quite a shy and a very very hard working person.While we were working together,she kept on working quietly and put her 100 % without taking a break,which really made me appreciate her and ask  her about the reason for such dedication.And she told that years ago,in her youth,she used the resources of the library quite often and the books and other materials have helped her a lot in her career,and so she feels obliged to pay back for the good the library had done to her life.I was touched by the thought so deep yet so simple.In our rush to jump miles,we forget where we have come from and we hardly care, about the small things that have contributed in making us a better person.And here she was,at her old age,having problems,yet making it a point to pay back to the community.Another time,i asked about her family and she said that she doesnt have one.It was painful to hear that she lives alone.Wonder,how god decides on what to give and what not to give to a person??Does he make a list of do's and dont's? Whatever, i just wish everyone stays peaceful the way they are !

Nostalgia!

Everytime i come back to my blog,i am filled with a nostalgia and a lil bit of consciousness.Mostly, a feeling deep down that although by each day,there's a part of me growing old, learning new things, more on the lines of "with age comes experience", some of my initial writings still depict  past states of my mind. States of my mind and a multitude of random thoughts at random moments, some of which are lost completely.But the writeups remain.  Basically, writing is a powerful form of speech,silent but much more powerful and logical than speech. Such is power of your thoughts,  that they create impressions in your mind before you blink an eye and you either hold on to them or let them go. Anyways,i don't have any agenda on my mind as always and am here to put my foot back on my page.


Let the grey cells work a bit and guess the subject of the below lines:

"What do you think and what you do,
No one knows,except for you.
Why don't you trust the heart when you should,
In a moment,you change "will" to "could".
And it becomes so difficult to choose the paths you lay,
leaving me alone to think while you make hay."


Mind,which keeps ticking all along, never stopping and over thinking just when it should relax(probably doing the opposite unless you know how to chill despite anything and everything :-))!

I feel lost after such a big break in writing...:-\