Soulful conversation

Your ridicule moistens my dry eyes ,always twinkling for life, still i manage to smile hard,
I curse myself for being what i am, and in the next moment feel that life as is is the biggest reward.
I feel a twitch in my heart when i see myself as a burden, from the words you speak,
The aloofness then returns loudly, and the voice of my silence overshadows my urge to shriek.
I try chaning places with you to know why and how you come upto conclusions which are a surprise,
I shrug and feel hollow,learning how misonceptions and misunderstandings arise.
I feel defeated,when you, a part of my small world, unfade my ugly side,
I would have been smiling my best, had you understood and lied.
Had you felt that i too have a heart and like doing somethings my way,
I wouldnt have regretted sharing my tiniest bits,had i had some more say.
I am selfish, i seek care and submissiveness,
I know i should shrug off some of my stubborness.
Its high time i be a butterfly without wings,
and be the epitome of peace that the compromise brings.
Time to put the thinking hat,time to grow up being a silent breeze,
to stop being a storm ,there is only this golden chance i should seize.
But i wonder,will i be the same colourful charming butterfly amongst beautiful flowers,
will i be,in my search for nectar,at the cost of my freedom,have the same smile with healing powers..?
Will my world still be the same,innocent,yet wise,
For a life that i chose,will i be time and again still paying the price,
Will the path be where i turn my footsteps,
or will it mean holding your hand and closing my eyes, i wonder...