Whatever has to happen,Happens no matter what!!

I am not loud generally, at peace and at my calm side most of the times,except when i am in my full spirits,in a mood to laugh,joke or have something big to gossip about or the times when i feel great after pursuing my hobbies.But, it is not a surprise that watever i think and how i appear to others, is a big contrast at times.I am a typical cancerian, no doubts at that. :-P.I joke,kid,smile and blush with people who are my world right now, my office group,(where i spend almost 10 hours a day on average), my roommates and few people i call friends, but the seriousness in my thoughts and sincerity of my goals doesnt reflect much in my conversations.I choose that as an option at times, because once i start cribbing, theres no end to it.:-). But jokes apart, i am taboo when it comes to talking and thinking about my dreams.I like my wishes,my dreams and my aims, to be somewhere deep within, not talked of or thought about,because it gives me a strange hope and i fear feeling broken in case they dont materialise.Not that i am not open to accepting defeats, i am pretty prepared most of the times when things dont fall into place as they should, but i like being superstitious and closed ended about what i want from life.I just came to recall one of the conversations, i had come from a trek,tired,exhausted but too excited and happy.The time was not apt to be sinking in a open ended conversation, coz i was in a mood to talk endlessly about my great experience of the trek.Yet, it went well but i later realized that it was a total failure from my side,an inefficient portrayal of what i am is a suitable phrase.I kept on talking and talking not even listening to what the other person has to say and that was indeed very cruel and sad on my part.Whenever i think about that, i shudder.What i portrayed of myself incidentally was the part when i am too enthusiastic and crazy, not the real me.No Matter what, that was a part of me talking anyways.But, somewhere this left me feeling that "Whatever happens, happens on its own" and in some ways, you cannot help changing,reforming or materializing some things in life.Its an altogether strange phenomenon. Even if you try hard to make things at place, they cant be unless the smallest entity involved is in full confidence and theres a green signal from the almighty/destiny or whatever stars you believe in.Whatever comes, goes some day.And it is always for the better that you convert your journey to a smaller station to a world tour.Who knows you may get the best which may help you forget the rest!!