Flipping back!

As and when a thought crosses by and i remember some things that went by the last year, or probably the year before, or years before, i feel nostalgia and a big transformation growing in me,all the time.Memories-those beautiful green leaves which fell off during the fall last season, losing their way past  the crazy world to places unknown, making way for the "new" leaves.Come this fall and some memories will still shed themselves off me and sink in somewhere unconsciously, till one random leaf on my way will remind me of them.And will induce nostalgia again.How weird,isn't it? Such a change,that we just  change the way we look,think,act and do, while we don't realize much of what we are doing to bring up those changes.We are such intelligent creatures that we build reflexes based on situations we are into,just so that we put the right foot forward next time,just in case we step into the same spot where we just when wrong.And these reflexes work their way for years,if not for centuries and thats how we develop the so called transformation in our lives and of those around us.Wohoo, i feel like Carrie bradshaw!(Been watching too much of the show).So, when something small happens and i recollect what my reaction to it would have been years ago,the comparison assures me of the reflexes working full on,engulfing the immature,naive me.But at times,as they say,you cant stop being a child ever.So,i move out of that zone and be myself as i would have been years ago.And the bad thing about it all being,every year when you blow a candle more to celebrate your stay in this big (not so bad) world,you  move one step away from your older self .You cant bring those things back- the stupor,the restlessness,the childishness,the childhood fights with your siblings,those carefree looks, those pranks with the besties, the crushes,those hours with the books,the tingling in your heart before every exam and the boards results, the campus  placement announcement,your first interview followed by your first job,the times when you felt your heart  pounding at some glances being returned,the best date,the best compliments,the emotional goodbyes,the end of friendships lost while you hop to places(welcome to IT), the moment your heart said yes for someone,the best proposal,the feel of being so special to someone,the start of a lifetime of togetherness,the caring sweet nothings from your brothers/cousins before your big day,the Big Day,and the smile on your face and the racing sounds in your heart as you vow to a start of a life together with someone.Wow, there are so many moments,which  never come back,or do they? Coz i just felt some of them coming for a while,all so fresh in my mind.

So,as i fill a page of my life book each day, i still believe i would see a lot of memories scribbled,just when i think of flipping back again!!