Priceless Desicions..

It is strange these days. I am missing nobody in particular, but some good company. Had i been my previous self, i would have been feeling low and distraught. But , i am surprised at myself that i enjoy being alone, right from the evening to the next dawn, the conversations in office being the only respite to my not so social life courtesy the new place, these days. I try making best of it at office, to compensate for " Nobody to talk to " hours after office, talkative that i am.. :) Today, i felt much better at dinner, eating alone but the caretakers of the accomodation m in for few days, kept me engaged in friendly conversation and i enjoyed the so called breaking of silence. Then, i got to break ice with the other people staying in house, and that was again a better phenomenon and made me feel a part of the new transition. Well, at office, all is well, with acquaintances- the same date joinees turning into friends soon, with a mere recognition by a smile. They are probably all sailing in the same boat, same uncertainties, same fears, excitement, confusion, tempo and purpose-purpose to adapt and fit well into the race, the same rat race with different breed this time.Sounds rude, but the truth. I dont deny the fact that i too am living the rat life , waking up everyday and passing days as they come, for just some bucks and happiness. Not that happiness comes with money, it comes with purpose.For me, this purpose shifts from time to time, sometimes career, sometimes family,sometimes freedom and sometimes a mixture of career and family. The last one is toughest handling because whenevr you try mixing and entangling two different things, it creates utter confusion and kills peace -of mind and your conscience. You try hard balancing but one side of the weighing balance shoots down, being heavy just when u had just set your eyes on the opposite end. So, its kind of a see saw, you have to see, who is heavier enough to be at the lower end..Lower end..how ironical???The heavier has the lower end..Shouldnt it be having the upper end.. as it goes by words.. :)
Thats life...Much more meanings to minute things in ways u never comprehend.I think at times that why does god give choice? Why does god invest the power to choose in our hands? Cant it be like he takes the desicion and let u know sternly that you have to abide by what has been decided for you... Happens for some, not all, and i am amongst those "not all " who spend half the time figuring out what? why?when and how?and lose the sight of the victory amidst all these stupid things.Guess god wants to test you one last time before giving you orders directly ? Or maybe he wants a consultation from you, as he is assured that whats on your mind will be anyways be a though with him/his fear in your mind...? Or maybe he wants to make it easy for you and let u see the hidden vision? Or maybe he doesnt want u to complain for the lack of choices? Or maybe he wants you to cherish it all by doing mistakes/ making gold out of silver lining whatever the case maybe...?But one thing is for sure.. Life is too big and you cant be repenting for whatever you decide, coz whats on ur mind may be right one moment, wrong next moment.But you can savour the thoughts only if you turn them to reality, only if u decide the harder way, good for u, bad for people close to u or vice versa but at the end of it all, u being happy for urself/others. See the rainbow itself..so many colours, in same order VIBGYOR, no change in colour scheme, maybe the other colours up and down wud have made rainbow sound more beautiful but y it isnt so? because god has decided path out of choices and stuck by it and made it a standard.. So, i belive even if u took the wrong path stick to it and follow it until you find success, but if you return back to some other path, you need to face the tradeoffs.In short, you have to wear the " i am the writer of my destiny" cap and see whether you are able to follow what you chose for yourself. The steeps and the curves that success comes with are indescribable and let you understand that success is not the destination, its the start of a journey-journey into the world of your dreams.May sound like big words to someone, for whom peace preceded everything in life, may sound true to people who look for success and fulfilment as their purpose in life and may sound a very hazy remark to those who want to have both peace and success.Very obviously, being a part of majority, i too find things which matter to me the most, hazy and strange till the time i get a clear vision, only to find that i have accepted one of the paths, out of choice, peer pressure or my own unclear visions, and then only, i make myself at peace. :)
Anyways.. theres some role fate and people around u play in u deciding somethings.. and whatever may be the case, you end up sailing in boat 1 or 2 depending on the time and the strength of your thoughts.I have seen people deciding most big things in life in matter of few moments. So, its all about your perceptions and how you take life and what attitude you want to live your life with.Some want best while some ,whom i like to salute, carry on with any situation and make it the best.But amongst all kinds of people and all kinds of actions, contentment should be the outcome, and if not, you should adapt yourself quickly, or rather break all norms to achieve this outcome..