TUM NA SAMJHE THE............

Tum na samjhe the baat itni si,
Tumhari aas rahe har pal ye khwaish thi kitni si.

Is aas ke saaye me beette the pal,
Umeed ki dor se bandha tha har kal.

Kachchi thi wo dor use tootna hi tha,
Age jo badi chali manzil to hame peecha chootna hi tha.

Kal ki wo sunehri patang kho gayi kuch aise,
Sagar se chin gaya ho uska kinaara jaise.

Raahein hain anjaan,bas manzil hi nahi hai,
Lehron ka rukh kahin hai aur sahil kahin hai.

Baatein hai unginat, par shabd nahi hain,
Har pal hai soona , fir bhi waqt nahi hai.

Na hi hai koi aas aur na hi bacha koi haq,
Na vishwaas ka nishaan or na hi koi shaq.

Hans rahe hain hum par aankhen hai nam,
Anjaan se lamhon me nishabd se hain hum.

Wo samete hue lamhe,wo pyari yadein sab choot rahein hain,
Gaanthon se bhare vishwaas ke dhaage ab toot rahein hain.

Wo apne se lamhe ho rahe hai paraye saare,
Itni door tak a gaye the hum fir bhi hain hare…..

THE ROAD AHEAD.......

The road ahead is a lonely one,

the sweet solitude adding to the fun.

The journey shall be tough but it entails the freedom i crave,

ending the need to justify my actions and comments so rave.

The wind seems to be flowing against my face,

declaring clearly that its not easy a race.

But aloud inside something shrieks from within,

that i wanna get away from the useless din.

Some fears and worries that i would wish overcome,

rising past things tacky and irksome.

They say that the road leads to a worthless blind turn,

but my instincts count upon it for the things i yearn.

Hoping against the hope that the destination is not the right one,

here i am, all set to carve the path that has been taken by none.....

TO PHIR AAO.....

"To phir aao, mujhko sataao..

Dil baadal bane,ankhen behne lagen,aahein aise uthein,jaise aandhi chale...

To phir aao,mujhko sataao...aa bhi jaao,aa bhi jaao,aa bhi jaao, aa bhi jaao

Gam le ja tere , jo bhi tune diye..

ya phir mujhko bataa,inko kaise sahein,

To phir aao,mujhko sataao,

to phir aao mujhko rulaao,a bhi jao a bhi jao

Ab to is manzar se, mujhko chale jana hai...

jin raahon pe mera yaar hai ,un raahon ko mujhe pana hai

To phir aao mujhko satao to phir aao mujhko rulao...

aa bhi jaao a bhi jaao, a bhi jaao.. "

As the song makes its way into ur heart, u are just left feeling a certain sense of belongingness to somebody ,somewhere unkown or most probably known to u, whom u might have thought of having in ur life.The ultimate beauty of longingness mixed with a sense of betrayal will leave u reeling into what lies untold and undone.Seems complex but things that are complex are remembered till long.The song is a request or say a challenge from someone deeply in love with other,asking him/her to test watever he can- be it patience ,dedication,trust or be it the most complex thing in life , love that is as easy to spell as hard it is to understand.The song also speaks of deep resolve in the way of getting sumone that no matter what happens, the person concerned will go out of all the bounds to accept the path ,of thorns or roses,that depends actually,just to feel the presence of the person he loves the most.Guess how they create such beautiful songs like that, only to bring u more near to the realities of life , that u face every single second.Hats off to the composers and above all the music director for he has captured pain and agony in such a beautiful way that the song is realistic in its own sense.The song simply rocks!!!

And travels the path from dream to dilemma in just flat 8 minutes approximately....that is the magic of indian cinema...:)

NEW CHANGES ON THE WAY!!

Don't know whether its an exaggeration or what,but somewhere down the line,many things have changed since college and many more changes are happening every single day.Umm, it will be difficult to say for how long things will remain the same, but still i am enjoying all what is happening around me.The sudden rush of so called professionalism,have to think upon that again bcoz i think i still do the same stupid things that i used to do in college :) ,that we are still trainees is another respite coz we can still make mistakes...:)

And yes,making new friends, funfilled training sessions , every day struggles to reach on time ,language problems,and ya,those frequent visits to beaches has been , in all a sweet journey till now. Chennai is not that bad actually , heat and food problems apart..:P

People have been nice till now, and hope they are going to be the same,and one thing i just liked about chennai is that it is a safe place to be in.Chennai has become a gr8 IT hub offlate and one of the gud things is that u can find enough north indians here..just like us, who have crosed boundaries of language and geography to be at par with technology..sounds like crap..:)

But ,one thing that i found lacking in the midst of it all is the lack of time - lack of time to be yourself, lack of time to sit down and relax..Life has become so kinetic and speedy..buzzing with one or other activity all the time.Can say, beaches here are a real treat when you want to sit and introspect,when u want to think something off, when u want to refresh fazed memories...the charm of a beach side stroll has been a gr8 reason i have started liking chennai.

As for now, i am still adapting to the changes,holding hopes and keeping my fingers crossed for may more things to take shape ..:)

TIME RULES THE ROOST.........

Time may be on ur side but for how long ,


In a spit of a second,all ur presumptions can turn wrong .


What may be a prank may turn into a disaster,


u may be losing precious things behind in the bid to run faster.


While u may be expecting good, things may turn out to be worse,


u may be seeking expression,u may be answered with words so terse.


U may be feeling being on the seventh sky,


while somebody may be needing ur shoulders to cry.


U may be grudging and fretting over silly somethings,


while somebody like u may be flying with wings.


U may be alone but somebody may be a busy host,


while u may be fretting over a defeat,someone may be raising a toast.


It all depends on the ruthless time to decide what people call their fate,
just follow the tide before u find urself helpless becoming a bait.

SPEED IS THE NAME OF LIFE!!!

So,now that i consider myself partially in tune with the external stimulus,its been a week since chennai has become my abode ,i would pen down some of the changes. The journey from college to job started with an early morning flight - lost in the clouds blue and white,i was wondering how long will these colours and the beauty around would still keep on fascinating me,now that we would be sitting all throughout the day before PCs,or our playing cards,i must say..:) !!playing cards that will help us interact , learn and earn- the dire needs of a person in today's competitive environment!! But it has been good so far- and i hope it will be like this only!! Keeping aside all physical considerations and adjustments as far as shifting from north to south is concerned, i liked the way the things have turned up.Interacting with people from different places has been a real treat- leaving behind all language constraints and other inhibitions, making new friends and getting to learn the native language and yea,coping up with the negotiation process with the autowallas in chennai, all has become a part of daily funfilled adventures that we come through!! Umm...yeah, the transition from college to job has been an ubrupt and surprising one,what with everyday bringing into its folds some myths and misconceptions (read salaries ;) ) that we had been holding onto, and some more tasks to be allottedto us, new ventures to look forward to and some moments of happiness that being in action holds with it .Yeah, life is moving on a faster track, with every blind turn leading to a new world, new insights,new people to meet and many new experiences.Training sessions, conversations with the professionals,maintainin g professional etiquette, managing time , meeting new people,travelling - many things have changed,the way we used to behave in college, the "nobody cares " attitude , it was fun being in college.But, this change has also been a welcome one, the feel of "everthing matters ", displaying professional etiquette,the feeling of earning money, the feel of being mature enough to become a part of a leading organisation- it all has lead to a new view towards life, introduced us to a new world,a materalistic one must say, because here,there is no time- no time to think about things of past, no time to grumble, no time to have any hard feelings, no time to think twice...the reality is action , simply putting into words , doing whatever u feel even if it is okay or not. Because the time machine is not going to wait for you, so to avoid being left behind, just get going , dare to dream and dare to do.......

THE REVERIE UNFOLDS.....2K3 dons the bid adieu cap!!

This blog is certainly about fulfilling a promise that i made to a friend that i will be blogging about one of the best days of my college life, the GT(read get together) that marked the end of 4 yrs into making..making up of true engineers, with all those qualitise of managing things right at the last moment, be it projects, vivas and exams,anything may come,but our batch rather our class has been the best example of being on the track at the last possible moment,rising up finally from deep slumber everytime and the best part being that,things fall in place everytime and rather everybody gets a gud share in terms of marks or any grades for that matter.Thank the system this time for its laxativeness,we ahve all completed 4 big yrs of handling thngs on the verge of just failing to manage them,and we have always been successful...so,this has been the magic of murthal, a place where 4 yrs meant adjusting ourselves in tune with the silent and slow paced life that it offered, close to nature and beauty,with those peacocks and b'ful sounds of birds , it really felt good to be at a place like that.



Umm..talking about murthal would take many blogs,what i wish to write is about the memorable GT,which took place on 26th may, one day after our exams ended.It started with simple his and hellos with the ppl around, but nobody knew that it would turn out to be such a b'ful and lively experience.What followed is a game of asking ques from guys and some witty answers that set the mood. With only 30 ppl arnd,the ambience was gr8 and everybdy looked comfy and easy going.What followed next was unlimited jam session,although DJ was not that gud,but still the spirits played the part.Frequent clicks by digicams, music and dancing arnd really made evryone arnd happy.And then food...After a while, came the time for dedications...and flowed in some real feelings of that being our last GT together and the flow of thoughts like these made their way into minds of many,m sure...I did my bit with dedications to the class,varun (read a gud frnd) read a Bful poem about college life at murthal,where he took us all into a flashback of how each year saw tremendous changes in us and how things changed in a matter of just 4 years....and the poem was really very very gud indeed!!And then dedications ended,to be followed by songs by a grp of frnds, ppl who had tried their hand at proposing but were a bit unlucky, and they had photos together and sang some songs related to the theme ....and it soon turned out to be a start of the singing session,where we sang old songs in grps, and some college songs like summer of 69 and purani jeans,ye dosti,yaaron ....and then,again a photo session drifted away the feel of being away very soon again!!



And then,a jam session with nursery rhymes as the music,was real fun, i say..u cud see ppl acting on rhymes like lakdi ki kaathi and so on....a day i would not forget for sure..and then,after a long jam session,we finally retreated to lazying around outside and followed a nice game of antakshari...i was not an active member though..:)



but it was fun...



and we really got together again for some more pics ..:)



The final countdown started next day.....



A signature ceremony and a souvenier signing one ,with some smiley balls being the platform for some gr8 memories we will be having of that b'ful day...And then few handshakes and pats on backs which were to be become the last reminder of us being together...and thus, rushed in some emotionally charged thoughts that have been doing the rounds till now and will do so for some more time to come, till we all develop new worlds around us, a new set of dreams, goals and adjust with some new people ,only to get attached emotionally to them and feel at the place.But those diaries ,those souveniers and endless memories of pranks, goofups,GTs, gossips, placement times,strikes,discussion sessions,college fests and many more things we did together will always make us remember the times when under the same roof ,we saw each day unfolding with it, new surprises and new adventures,sometimes bad,sometimes good....Yeah the memory remains and will never be gone....hats off to alma mater for bringing us all together and giving us full fledged 4 yrs ,now that we are carrying with us varied bunches of memories,gud and bad,that will be accompanying us for years to come.......

Anything but Seperation!!!

This i found on the orkut profile of one of my very good friends,as i just logged on to orkut to kill time . Though it indicates pure nostalgia arising out of the fact that very soon, we all will be going to different companies ,ready to get our potentials tapped or to say accurately our working abilities utilized to the hilt as software professionals,now that we are on the verge of completion of last semester with exams near, i was really wondering whether it really is the seperation that is bothering us at this time!! Though its quite clear that very soon we all will get preoccupied with our so called professional advances, in synchronism with the survival of the fittest theory, coz we will have to fight against the scorching heat of competition and learn to create opportunities from failures.But ,we are not really prepared for the phase that will follow- most of us still feel like a kid, under the support of parents and friends, some of us still fret over small problems , many of us still use the so called contacts to get things done by hook or crook, many of us still think life is all about having fun.....There are countless things that need to be changed before we step into the big bad world of professionalism that awaits us .

And to top it all, we are reeling under the loss of losing the friends we have made so far, losing contacts in the midst of busy schedules, those funloving moments that we still cherish, those get togethers that are simple yet so special in their own terms, those jokes and giggles that set the moods manytimes, those celebrations we had together, those small nothings we used to share, those beautifully knitted dreams that we used to take together,long useless gossips, mass bunks, those three cheers and applause that we gave to ourselves after we turned something up into a reality,those calling teachers by weird names, united efforts to convince teachers to give us concessions........there are a lot many things that are never going to be the same after we start working , we will really be missing these days ,for the effortlessness and the simplicity they carried , for that sense of freedom they entailed,for the laughter they evoked, for the spirits they contributed to....It will be dificult to forget all these days.....and so as she had written that she can bear anything but seperation,i just wished that things could remain as they are,that time could leave us some more moments to enjoy the last final days before we get scattered and seperated in our bid to carve niches for ourselves.....
But time and tide wait for no one and all the more, it is the magic of seperation only that makes u realise ow much u miss people that really matter to u and u remain in contact with them after u seperate from them....

LIFE'S GOOD....

To be frank,this post simply is an effort in the path of self assurance that i can write something towards brighter side too..:) Offlate,i realised that i had started writing much about the gloomier side of life,about some truths that we face everyday yet avoid talking about them face to face to avoid the emptyness lying within each of us.No, i don't plan to fill this post with what all i have been writing so much about till now...:) So , this time its to gather all my positive vibes to create ,what is called a cheerful impact !!Umm....yeah, life is good only if u feel that ways, coz the trick lies in what i just said, absorbing positive vibes and let the negative vibes pass ur way leaving u untouched, unaffected and the best case is when they leave u with better approach to look forward towards the things in life. Leave alone all that frustration and outbursts, its a done thing that life is what u feel about it.Yeah, i do agree that when something bad happens, u feel bad and cry for sometime till u forget about it and again, u start living each day as it comes. But , as good things start happening to u, that feel good factor ,hidden somehere,appears in full force and there u are, all contented and wonder if u could ask anything more out of life and wish the tide of time could never flow. Yeah, i still find its really difficult to understand the intricacies of life , but all my posts apart,:)..i would still say it aloud that life is good if u think about it in such a way.Hmmm...thinking light and containing a flushed heart with no negativity inside is a tough job, to be frank, but it pays a lot, and the prize is really worth it - a cheerful perspective that may keep u going !! Having negativity touch u is also not bad, coz nobody knows whether bad is really bad or painful and then,again there are no standard and conventional laws,bad may be better for u at times, but, still, having positive thoughts produce an ever lasting effect on u is what is the right way to keep going on in life!! LIFE-seems a small word but theres so much to write and discuss about it..:) saying that from a philosopher's point of view ..:)
Think i managed to write some part of what i was actually planning to write !!

Shshh........

Far away from the crowd,there i stand -silent and numb.Not that i have nothing to say, but the fact is that i am on my way to try out if silence is really golden.Outside,i seem poised and settled,more to say,satisfied with the way life is turning up,but,deep down under,i can hear the echoes very clearly,yes,faint but still clearly audible, myself shrieking and shouting,trying to speak up to my heart's content,satisfied in the least with how the things are shaping up.
Hmmm...wondering whether what i believe is an exaggeration...am i really dissatisfied or frustrated??Don't i have the things one needs to be happy??Dont i have accomplishments or feats in my kitty??Dont i have loving people to fall back upon whenever the storm of solitude takes me away ??Dont i have what is called the"passion" to live everyday up??
Seems this is an unending tirade of questions that erupt in my mind out of nowhere.Blaming my silly ideas and wayward thoughts,i move on.Yeah,most of the above is not true,but is not false either.Controversies and confusions apart,there are somethings i would like to change, many of them rather, so that i can recreate that so called passion or spirit that i used to carry earlier,which has been covered by the sands of time and age....
Philosophically speaking, can silence be golden??At this instant itself,i can count atleast twenty things i would like to speak up about with somebody or the other,things i would like to clarify,explanations that i would like to ask for,those hidden revelations that i would like to make to those i care about,some ideas that i fear are weird but still i would like to share.....and the words go on.But the moment is not right.I cannot speak.Because they say u can't help somethings by speaking up or complaining against them,u end up making matters worse that way.So,u should remain silent because its golden.Like a golden pot can't make sounds when beaten ,similarly,i feel silence can't really help hit the problem and find solutions for it,rather it is silence onle that kills.Kills opportunities,kills confidence,kills love,kills patience and kills the spirits to rise above all odds once u feel that the matters are cold now..
So,silence may be golden,but there does'nt really exists any difference between a person crying in a small hut or the one crying inside a golden house.Silence is no more the way to curb the problems - it is about holding back and running away from them,in the name of the unnecessary task of justifying urself and not giving others the right to question ur actions.in this busy world,where evryone is mad building fortunes,do u expect somebody to hear ur silence,though i dont say silence doesn't speak,but u need to shout in today's times,let alone speaking,??
So,just let the words flow and decide ur fate , as they say.....
Its only words and words are all i have to take ur heart away

THE JOURNEY CALLED LIFE.....

As we come to this bright beautiful world where everyday millions of dreams turn into realities while billion others are bitten by the fangs of time or inadequacy,we realise that every single day brings with it some new facts,new people in our lives,new relationships,some hardcore truths,some beautiful moments,some bitter encounters,new experiences,new adventures,new failures,new goals and obviously new set of emotions and feelings ,in short new baggage to carry on with u everytime.But,what remains same in the wake of it all is ur self,the same heart,same mind, same outlook...err,am i really right on this??Let me introspect.Yeah,i found a countless no. of changes over time,i think everybody does,so we should better say same heart but soft corners for new people,same mind but new approach and a different take on thngs altogether,outlook can never be same unless the person concerned is really smug and comfortable living in particular conditions,this obviously includes his emotional compatibility,his ability to develop both mentally and otherwise.Generally speaking,outlook improves with experience,or to say as u meet more and more people,adjust with them,face more and more realities,recover from some bad experiences,take lessons from ur mistakes, and break away from ur failures,u keep on improving ur outlook until a time comes,when u feel totally self confident of ur opinions and views on life.You feel that finally u have accomplished the difficult goal of understanding urself and understanding complexities of life and the moving on that it teaches u every time u fail or feel cheated,now that u will be able to cope up with feelings of melancholy and loneliness,now that u feel that the urge to be with someone who understands u is finally subdued,u really feel like a winner.But that feel good factor is short lived to ur utter dismay,coz as u are celebrating ur conquests over life and urself,u find noone to be with,to share with someone how u faced all the odds alone,how u braved it all to be a winner.....
And u start fumbling for companionship,and like a mirror,crash all the virtues that u had gathered working really hard- that self confidence,the self assurance that u became proud of so soon,but u don't really want to accept that all ur hard work is lost in the waters of solitude.And this adds on to the agony....
u start feeling frustrated,alone and lonely,not that there is nobody close but the utter reality is that everybody is so close yet so far,and that thngs dont matter to anybody,and thugh this might sound cool ........doesnt it??Nobody cares for watever u do...that means u have all the freedom to be ur own.But is this freedom really worth it...??Do u really do thngs to make urself happy and u don't care or bother about nybody??is it that u dont care what ppl might think??is it that u are comfortable being alone,just because people are too busy to listen to ur silence??These questions might be a bit bold but once u get answers to these or are already having them,half of the battle is already won.As for me,still searching!!!!

I WANNA TOUCH THE SKY..............

I wanna touch the sky and become a star today,

because the world of relations has been blackening me everyday.

I wanna flutter my wings like a proud bird of prey,

Its been long that i was silent,now i wish to have my say.

I wanna play the games i have been losing, all again,

To get back on things that i let go of in vain.

I wanna grab those keys that lead to the right door,

now that i am exhausted hopping from floor to floor.

I wanna break those bonds that are far away from heart,

to see how it feels watching people ,close yet so far, standing apart.

I wanna break some shackles that have been gripping me tight,

to move out of darkness and to taste the beauty of the light.

I wanna stop feeling the way i have since long,

to stop cursing myself for things that went wrong.

I wanna give a damn to how people might think,

to move out and see ,what i have been watching through a chink.

I wanna turn the winds and the tide,

to break free from certainty into the unexpected side.

I wanna welcome both the happiness and the pain ,

to accept the realities that once i used to disdain.

I wanna touch the sky........

These are some of the poems i came across recently by chance,these have been written by karan singh and i really liked the way he has expressed the feelings...

TETE A TETE
She said ‘You have a lovely face’
I said ‘it only shares your grace’
She said ‘Your eyes are dark and deep’
I said ‘your images they keep’
She said ‘Your gaze is full of bliss’
I said ‘The rapture of your kiss’
She said ‘Yours arms are band of steel’
I said ‘Your silhouette they feel’
She said ‘Why do you love me so’
I said ‘That I will never know....

Another poem that touched me was like this..............


A WHISPERED DIALOGUE
Someone whispered in my ear
one evening,as the setting sun set fire to the landscape;
I cannot quite recall the words
but the burden went something like this:
‘Time speeds by on flying feetand all our life is bitter-sweet
with expectation, hope and sorrow,
and we vainly seek tomorrow
what we could not find today;
for this we strive, for this we pay
with our life’s blood but then at last—
all strength expended, hoping past—
we fail and sink, and lose our breath
into the nothingness called death’
I sat quite still,
so quiet I could not hear the beating of my heart,
until another whisper spoke
with somewhat firmer tone and sweeter voice:

‘This is not true, the daily strife
that builds the structure of our life
need not be always fought in vain
and need not end in death and pain;
there is a path the mystics know
wherein the lights of heaven glow,
there is path that the sages tread
which leads them past the hosts of dead
and dying bodies, leads them on
to that one place where none has gone
who has not shed his mortal dress,
the rainbow bridge which all must cross
who seek in life finality,
and glowing immortality..

Another one that caught my eye was like this....
Although this one was titled hymn to shiva but i would prefer it without a title because it can also mean surrender of one's soul to somebody ,if say we don't mark it as a tribute to god only....



"I am your plaything.
You can breathe into me
the fire of eternal life,
and make me immortal;
or You can scatter my atoms
to the far corner of the universe
so that I disappear for ever.

You can fill me with light and power
so that I shine like a meteor
against the darkness of the midnight sky;
or You can extinguish my spirit
so that I sink for ever
into the deep and fathomless ocean of time.

You can set me among the eternal stars
resplendent with your divine fire;
or You can hurl me
into the abyss of darkness,
so that I can never again be visible
to mortal eyes.

You can come to me
with the glory of a thousand cupids;
or You can turn from me
and leave me stranded
in a grey and ghastly desert of despair.

You can smile at me
with the radiance that kindles the universe;
or You can open your eye of fury
and reduce me to a heap of ashes.

I am your plaything;
The choice is yours.........."

BELIEVE IN URSELF......

Sometimes, i wonder what really is the force behind some bold steps and some unreasonable situations that we become a part of knowingly or unknowingly??what really is the concept behind doing something u feel is not gud for u but u still want to do it??Maybe somehere down the line, the excitement or curiosity or in some cases, the feel of winning through the worst or braving it all gets u to do some things which u shud not have done,speaking practically.Like every second person among smokers says that he smoked first time to get the feel of controlling his life,rather to cut it down,on logical terms. But,who cares?? nobody for nothing really matters till u r happy with the way u r living,be it being happy or be it dooming every single day of ur life ,only if u please to do so.So, the point to be noted is that it is not always that u think reasonably and take an action, say u can't always measure the pros and cons of a situation and then act.Somewhere ,some time,things take shapes on their own, leaving u awestruck and dumb and there u are left trying to figure out why u did that particular thing or not and other such weird things that start taking a toll on you. And that is when u feel that u have been losing ur self esteem and self control and you start thinking as hard as u can,preparing to resist the change u feel in urself,getting rid of the creepy feelings of remorse and regret that grip u tight ,figuring out ways to be the real urself- focussed, practical and sensible.But ,i think that somwhere,somethings and some situations have been decided upon already,its just that u become a puppet acting as is expected out of u by those situations and u end up doing that only,to find urself under stress later on.But,do u realise that these situations only let u understand ur limits, be it ur emotional balance, ur patience, ur stress handling ability, ur tenacity, ur loyalty and many other things to count upon!!!
So, on a positive note, some things happen the way they want to and they may end up leaving u irritated and stressed out ,but this perception is what u need to change to rise above all odds....
Just do watever u feel like ,do think twice but dont ever think thrice,coz somwhere down the pipeline, u will be gaining from ur mistakes and u shud let them happen once in a while !!

JUST ONCE.........

They say life is about compromises that you have no escape from,
and i m prepared for all of them but one.
They say life is about pain and sufferings,
i would face them all but one.
They say life is about relentless heartbreaks ,
i would bear them all but am helpless facing one.
They say life is about dying every single second,
i would love to die countless no. of times but i just wanna live once.
They say life is about some bitter truths that are better left unexplored,
i would dare not explore them all but one.
They say life is about some forbidden memories,
i don't mind not recollecting them all but one.
They say life is about some bitter experiences,
i still wish to move on,but reflect back on one.
They say life is about some unanswered questions,
still there's a silent desire to be answered just once.
They say life is about some unexplicable actions,
i won't care about them all but one.
They say life is about being aloof and alone,
i will face the brunt of solitude everytime except once.
They say life is about restrained emotions,
i will hide them all but one.
They say life is about doing your own things,
but i still wish to be suggested once.
They say life is about being heard aloud,
still i wish someone to understand silence just once.
They say life is about walking your own path,
still i wish to follow somebody's footsteps just once.
They say life is all about doing it right,
still i wish to make mistakes just once.
They say life is about winning the race,
i just want to lose waiting for someone to hold his hands,just once.
They say life is about broken bonds,
i m geared up to see them break all but one.
They say life is about being influenced by no one,
still i want to cry for someone just once.
They say life is about standing on ur feet,
still i wish to limp and fall just once.
They say life is about living every moment for urself,
still i wish to die every second for someone just once.

Just once and i will never ever ask for it all again,
Just let me live the way i wish to and i will never ever complain.............

AM LIVING IN UR AFTERGLOW........

"Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses

It's you and the roses

Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?

In between the longing to hold you again

I 'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control

My mind drifts away,we only have today

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow^

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go I will find my way

I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow.........."

^An afterglow is a broad high arch of whitish or rosy light appearing in the sky due to very fine particles of dust suspended in the high regions of the atmosphere.

In terms of this song,afterglow refers to moving on after a person departs from your life or maybe from this world itself.The lyrics reverberate in ears giving a true sense of belongingness and affection to the extent that one can give his life to be with the one he loves.Rememberance of a person who is no more close ,and the singer floats in a journey of memories , some good and some bad .

Lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow.........speaks of the void that somebody's loss has created in the life of the protagonist . He is lost in the retrospection as he misses somebody really close ,but he doesn't care about the tide of the time coz he feels there is no tomorrow left to be taken care of,nothing big to be anticipated of since he has lost what mattered the most to him, the one he misses so much now.He is so much deeply moved by the loss that he can still feel the shadow of the person he loves and he just wants to get touched ,to be more exact, he just wants to feel the presence of that person once ,so that he may move on with the priceless moments that he spent with the one he loved................

Thus the song clearly depicts the longingness and the dire loneliness that grips the protgonist.

One of the unbearable consequences love puts you in-

When you are left wondering when you did become what you are now, how a person much like you ,changed the meaning of your life ,since when did u start feeling addicted to being with a person to the extent that you could not be happy and satisfied unless you told him/her that a dream of yours turned into a reality, since when did you start caring for him/her more than yourself,since when did u started losing that practical prospective that had kept you away from emotions and feelings till now.................

And then u r left feeling helpless because somethings are just unanswerable and take shape in some ways u don't understand how hard you fret and think about them.And ,you just give up thinking that you can't manage and what you can do is just avoid thinking........

And this is what we call another example of

"Some relations and some bonds made in heaven"

unkahi daastaan.......

Arzoo hai yahi is dil me mere,
Ki ho poore saare sapne tere.
Khush hoon main ki tujhe mila wo pyara sa saath,
Khushnaseeb hai wo,jisne thaama hai tera haath.
Par beech majdhaar me khud ko paata hoon main,
Andhera hi chaaron or,jahan bhi nazar uthaata hoon main.
Ek nami si hai aankhon me,par wo teri palkon ke motiyon si keemti nahi,
Par is gam ke chalte majboor hoon main,ki un motiyon pe ab mera koi haq nahi.
Ek pal me hanste hain,duje me rote hain hum,
Teri khushiyon ki aadh me bhi ye zaalim gam na hote hain kam.
Meri har karwat ke saath toot rahe hain wo sapne,
Jo poora to door,ab rahe hi nahi apne.
Akele hi andhere se ladh raha hoon har pal,
Kyunki dekhna hai baaki wo roshni bharaa kal.
Jab dil pe patthar rakhkar karunga teri widaayi,
Ek hi to hai sahaara jeene ka ki maine apni dosti poori tarah nibhaayi.
Jab hoga wo tere saath beeta har ek pal paraaya,
Widaayi hogi un ret ke mehlon ki jo main kabhi tujhe dikha na paaya.
Kal se tere sapne kisi aur ke honge,
Aur teri dosti ke meethe pal ek beete hue daur ke honge.
Hai bas yahi gujaarish ki rahe tera chehra sadaa khilkhilata,
Tere jeevan ke akaash me rahe hamesha har taara timtimaata.
Us akaash ke saaye me rahoon main har pal,
Aur aaye meri veeraan zindagi mein bhi ek sundar sa kal.
Jise thaame kat jaaye wo lamhe anjaan,
Aur fir se is jeevan ka maqsad ban jaaye kisi ki muskaan……..

QUESTIONS GALORE........

I have set down on writing something not just for the sake of writing but somewhere,deep within,I have sort of started missing writing something everyday.It gives me a strange sense of satisfaction to give a life to some of my deepest desires,illusions,my perception of the things around me or to be precise the effects of the external stimuli to my thinking,and some vague thoughts that keep knocking the doors of mind like a storm,taking into grips whatever consciousness I try to develop while these thoughts are at rest.I have always been happy with the way I have been, Living upto each day as it comes,setting goals at every step,sometimes winning over them makes me elated and overjoyed but at other times,I am left fretting and regretting my failures,which,ofcourse,with time,fade away and become a part of “not a part of my destiny “ area of my subconscious mind keeping me assured and self satisfied for the while.
But,somewhere,somehow,I have come to realize that all of this is just so useless.Am I really happy with the way I am living?? Setting limits and confining myself to them,setting those boundaries of morals and standards that have been putting me off so many times to the extent that I have lost confidence in my actions, sometimes crossing those so called limits and feeling guilt and punishing myself in ways I myself don’t understand. Yeah, I am moving on and learning new things,meeting new people everyday,developing newer bonds ,trampling some of my dreams due to my duties, making those silent wishes everyday, looking upto each day as a new beginning, taking wrong decisions and learning through them....
But I am tired of moving on.....I am tired of finding those truths about myself that unravel some new dimensions to my life every single second , those useless clarifications that I have to make to people to live upto their expectations,those promises I have to make unwillingly, those moments when I sacrifice myself to make others happy ,hiding those feelings from others hoping they understand, those realities that I come across everyday,tired of explaining some of my actions that end up getting misunderstood and my efforts to carve a niche and being happy altogether.I am tired of thinking hard about everything....

But who cares.....Nobody.Because everybody expects and from those expectations stems up dependence and we start looking for an emotional support in someone whos ready to listen to our woes,find solutions for them,patting our backs in our feats,sympathizing with us in failures,and making us feel that he/she is always there and that’s what we probably call understanding each other!But when people don’t understand ,u get hurt.

But, again , who cares....Nobody.Because,you may not be important for the one who is godlike to you as he/she may be looking upto somebody else for that emotional support thay you seek in him/her.
And ,like this ,goes on an untold tale of finding those truths about life that we just find philosophical but which concern each one of us and daunt us time and again...

And, amidst all this, I find myself getting late for the blissful sleep that will help me shut off my brain till I wake up to find a beautiful morning and hiding behind its veils, another round of some strange questions that will haunt me tomorrow...........

Ek Atoot Rishta....

Ek pyara sa rishta jo hai sirf apna,
Haqeeqat na sahi,dekha to milke ek sundar sapna.
Dooba rehta hoon har pal khayalon me tere,
Wo lamhe,wo pal jinko samete beette hain din raat mere.
Sochta hun jab tum na the tab bhi khush the hum,
Jab muskurahaton ke kono me chupe the gam.
Par ab to muskurahaton se hai choota har naata,
Hasne ki har koshish ka nishaan ,yaadon ke lehron se hai mit jaata.
Aur in lehron me behte jaate hain hum,
Saahil ki talaash me kuch anjaan gehraiyon me khud ko pate hain hum.
Kyunki tumse hi seekha hai humne gum me muskuraana,
Ye muskurahat hi to hai tumhe har pal yaad rakhne ka bahaana.
Main jaanta hoon tumhari har majboori,
Wo unkahe shabd, jinki wajah se hai ye doori.
Ehsaas hai mujhe kyun dil milte milte reh jate hain,
Kyun palkon ke ghere me simte aanson mujhe dekhte hi beh jate hain.
Jaanta hoon main ki tum bhi kahin baithi ho gumsum,
ki har pal na chahte hue bhi mujhe hi sochti ho tum.
Yakeen hai mujhe ki tum bhi roz us andhere ka saamna karti ho,
Waqif hun main,kaise tum roz jeekar bhi marti ho.
Samajhta hoon main ab doori hi hai mera naseeb,
Zehen me ata hai khayaal ki main hoon tum bin kitna garib.
Tumhaara diya har ek gam hai har wo nazraana,
Jise samete rakhte hue tumse kiye har vaade ko hai nibhaana.
Par chehron ki bheed me sab kuch thehar jaata hai,
Jab tumhaara wo rota hua chehra saamne aata hai.
Aur har gam se ladkar bhi main ek gam se haar jata hoon,
Jab tumhe mere liye har pal bechain aur pareshaan pata hoon.

A WORTHWHILE AUTO RIDE......

Today again , I felt the same flow of thoughts going on inside me as has happened many times before whenever i travel within my city in an autorickshaw,which happens rare now.A sudden sense of concern and pity grips me tight and floods my mind till i reach the destination,after which ,ofcourse,it fades away because i am so preoccupied to think about it again.If the auto is filled with passengers to its full capacity,these thoughts dont dare make their way into my mind but if the auto i m travelling in is nearly devoid of passengers,just one or two of them, i start feeling bad for the autowallah.Most of the times,it so happens that i start putting myself into his shoes and what follows is a feeling of guilt and helplessness - that as a passenger,or let's say on the grounds of humanity,as a human being,i can't really help the autowallah in his quest for more passengers in his auto...

His eyes and his actions speak aloud his dire need to get more passengers to save himself some money from this ride,to make his both ends meet...The longingness and the restlessness as he drives past the other autos competing for every single passsenger,his eyes asking for a ride from every single person on the roadside,the frequent gaze that marks the approach of every single stoppage,the extinguishing hope that shows on his face as the end of the ride starts daunting him,the drop in his pitch or rather his determination as he calls for passengers at the stoppages say it all...I find it so easy to relate with his condition, somehow, and then arrive those vicarious feelings of what really can be done about it.And after much pondering ,i always conclude that the lack of education is the basic reason for this problem and many others that we overlook everyday amidst our busy and monotonous schedules.....But,the reality that stands upright among all odds is that millions of people who are fighting every single day for the bare necessities,face inadequacy and poverty heroically,though its very hard for them, but they have not surrendered and its their temerity and their undying spirits that keeps the nation moving.....obviously,other view could be of people dying because of hunger and malnutrition,but most of us have already been a witness to the gloomy side of the problems facing India today and we already know what to do but the problem lies only in implementation....And amidst a storm of thoughts like these invading my mind,i find myself hurrying down the auto,since my destination has arrived and i just leave all these thoughts till my next ride as i move out of the auto........A silent wish from my side that all his rides may be passenger packed ones as i pay him the money,and i find that familiar sound of the engine fade away as i gear myself up to cross the road......

When he entered this world,he had a big smile,

innocent about the fact that very soon would follow a fate so vile,

In mother's lap,he was smug and sleeping tight,

getting ready for the yet to come,indelible fight.

Love and care did quench his thirst,

and these bubbles still had time to burst.

In eyes of his ladylove, he found his world,

but,sooner,awoke he was,doomed with an unfulfilled daydream and a life fully twirled.

Because,in her eyes,she was holding her own dreams,

blind and deaf,she was the only witness to his tears and screams.

She ended it all,to start a new life with someone,

leaving him half dead as his shroud was still undone.

So, he killed the human inside,

lonely and distraught,there he was,with nobody to love or confide.

And the devil in him decided his fate,

he again fell in love,this time,with pain and hate.

She was happy and in full bloom,

he was too,satisfied ,with pain and gloom.

He tried too hard but failed to fight down his urge,

because the ship of his life was too eager to submerge.

Feeling numb,he still managed that jump,

freed,seemed his heart,that had since long turned into a lump.

Prepared to depart,he still had a big smile,

happy that he would be starting a new phase in a while.

Those last moments of his tortured life ,he was holding a dream and his eyes shone....

that once reborn,his new life will actually be his own........

I am in the class,gazing at the green,

Blessed by the sun,the landscape is glossy with sparkle and sheen.

The eerie silence is broken with the sudden gush of air,

providing cooling enough to escape sun's glare.

The teacher is busy scribbling those little somethings,

while I am flying high with my wings.

There I go,on the limitless sky of my thoughts,

painting beautiful daydreams with colourful dots.

With those colourful moments I won't be able to forget,

and some pale colours of past actions I still regret.

The palette of my life has a random mix,

with some broken promises and things to fix.

As I try to unjumble remnants of the past,

escaping regret and pain, I wanna fly fast.

A loud shriek, and i guess its the time for roll call,

Folding my wings for the next class, I, somehow,manage a safe fall.

Nayi Manzilein....

So,finally today i penned down some thing in hindi....i dont know how it has turned out to be.. But,i have tried my best to put my imaginations to a new path....and yeah,spare me those spelling mistakes please...:)


Toote dil ko dard jaisa musafir nahi milta,
Wo kichhad hi hai jisme har kamal hai khilta…
Milengi hume manzil is jahaan ke paar,
Hogi haunslon ki jeet aur bewafai ki haar.
Hazaaron wo sapne,beech me the jo choote,
Wo umeedon ke jahaaz ,samundra paar lagne se pehle hi the jo toote.
Wo neela gagan,wo timtimaate sitaare,
Wo unjaan lamhe,jab mile chaahton ko naye se kinaare.
Wo humsafar humara,jeene ka sahara,
Roshan wo samaa,rangeen har nazara.
Chaahtein ab alag thi,thikaana alag tha,
Wo rishta zameen tha ,wo rishta falak tha.
Ek sailaaab jo aaya,dooba wo sapna,
Ho gaya pal me paraaya,jise maana tha apna.
Aur ab hai dard aur ranjish ka saaya,
Jisne har pal akelepan ke ehsaas se hai bachaaya.
Ab hai ek mukaam jise paana hai humko,
Hum nahi hai toote,duniyo ko ab bhi dikhana hai humko.
Ab dard ka alam hi hai saathi hamaara,
Jiski ungli thaame,milega ab kinaara…………

sounds poetic...i suppose..:)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Friends r ones who heal ur aches,
freeing u from nostalgia wen u face heart breaks.
Frnds r the ones always there for u,
for many may claim but the real ones are few.
A frnd is one who will love and care,
with whom u feel free with anything to share.
A smile on their face lets u forget ur woes,
coz u know they were there in the fight with ur foes.
Days may b gloomy or sumtimes bright,
but ur frnds let u face life with confidence and might.
They shall feel honoured while u accomplish a feat,
coz they supported u while u were rising on ur feet.
They inspire u to work to achieve ur aim,
under their assurance,undeterred u climb,on the ladder of fame.
And then the most awaited fame becomes urs,
some credit of which goes to ur frnds ofcourse.
Coz they were there 4 u wen nothing was well,
and u cud reach the pinnacle,lifted by them everytime u fell.
Forget them not after u reach new heights,
coz to see u smile,they faced abuses and fights.
So stay with ur frnds till ur heart beats,
together u shud be,facing times of sorrow or enjoying ur feats.
Thats why we say some relations on earth never die,and persons may depart but their memories still lie.

Some things are just meant to happen, however hard u may try,
How hard u smile can’t really be happy if only u r destined to cry.

When u curse urself for what happened to u,
When u want to change urself and start fresh and new.

When u really bother how u will be escaping the pain,
When what u thought was a boon suddenly turns out to be a bane.

When u don’t intend to, but end up hurting someone,
When facing the reality is the only alternative, but u still can’t control the urge to run.

When u can’t help saying what u don’t want to say,
When u feel it’s impossible to keep some thoughts at bay.

What u had thought would be bad ,seems out to be worse,
Once so outspoken, u now become sharp and terse.

When u don’t think u can really cope,
When u try everything and end up losing courage and hope.

You should really think its all a part of the big game,
And not force upon decisions when u urself sound confused and lame.

For the journey of life is not as smooth as one thinks,
Fearing odd situations u can’t just end up breaking those links.

And some people who care should really matter to u,
U shud really feel lucky even if they r not many but few.

U should face the situation being calm and bold,
And leave it to destiny to let some things unfold……..

The rhythm divine...

A rhythmic tale that started one day,
Elated, I was, to have finally found a way.
To keep aside those worldly worries and fears,
Those things I did in my bid to compete with my peers.
The notes I played were effortless on my part,
And music they gave could really speak my heart.
My fingers could just play magic on the guitar,
Introducing me to a world so near yet so far.
I could blend those beats and my subsided thoughts,
That had left my pure conscience with some tainted blots.
My heart really melted with every blissful beat,
Filling me with joy of a remarkable feat.
Flushed, seemed those thoughts that used to really hit me hard,
Reopened were those doors, entries to which were always barred.
The beautiful sounds were so eternal and pure,
Vanished all the pain, as I gave myself for this priceless cure.
Whenever I m full of stillness and suffocation,
I turn to the guitar for a soulful incarnation.
To face the cruel world, I feel reborn,
Because it’s a plain truth that the show must go on………..

The Chase....

I confess to you that I don’t really know my aim,
I don’t know if it’s just another thing or a matter of shame.
I don’t really know where I will head?
With a big deal of miles to tread.
Delving into my life, I don’t really know what I want to get,
For I feel that u can’t get some things how hard you fret.
I truly realize that I m a weak player in the game,
And m sure I’ll chase my aim from among the thoughts I tame.
To satiate myself, I sometimes feel that it’s just a phase,
That, one fine day, I will surely move out of the maze.
I have got nothing in my life, I feel worth dying for,
Fighting everyday, I really wonder if there is an end to this war.
Still, this chase has always been with me,
Protecting me from scorching heat of loneliness like a shady tree.
Lest, I would have felt so alone and distraught,
With no retrospection on the battle of questions I have always fought.
I brazen it out that my biggest wish is still away from me,
Happy that I am, but I m still on my way to satisfaction and glee.
I I am waiting for magical moment that will happen someday,
When those hours of thinking hard and my wayward thoughts will finally pay.
And the new beginning that would follow,
The full stop to my feeling useless and hollow.
With revelation of my ultimate desire,
Tracing the unknown, fulfilled will be, my need so dire.
But I fear I would lose shade of the chase,
When the hunger to fulfill my biggest wish will be in full blaze.