Healthy and Hearty!

This blog is a silly rambling of my pleasant surprises,in the foreign lands/India of people becoming all the more aware and strictly conscious of their health and mainly contains my experience of them,hitting the gym.

So, while i am totally free these days, i make it a point to go to the gym and try to maintain the serious attitude towards gymming, all credits to my husband and his unending love for fitness and the gym. Inspiration comes from within and at times, from those you love. After reading myself say yes/no/maybe ,while i make up my mind on whether i really want to go for the workout, i wearily get ready and get out before the laziness gets me.A 2 minute walk down, i am right there, and the gym is mostly swarming with people.Mainly ladies, who,after their husbands are gone for work, kids having left for school, after being  done with calling their families,friends or relatives,get some "me-time" and take up the charge to be in shape.Some of them,weared out by their daily chores, walk on the treadmills,in a mundane manner, and give up after few minutes,heading back to some pending daily chores,the list never ends, i tell you :). While some, i call them mini inspirations,run,run and run,pacing forth, altering their speeds,just enough to burn the right amount of calories,in right time limits.Who says women don't do their homework? High intensity cardio followed by crunches and stretches,some people,just do it all perfectly and set great example and inspiration for others like me, to be regular and sweat it out.Now that i am regular and  a regular runner,i feel proud somewhere,sometimes :-p.But cheers to some aunties and uncles who in their mid fifties and sixties,turn up in the gyms almost everyday at their designated times, work upto their strengths and brave the next generation gap each day,setting examples for the youth.To sacrifice sleep and see the morning bliss.And i am pleasantly surprised.And as i return back home and see some senior couples on the way,holding hands,walking together,slowly and peacefully, i feel glad and happy for them.And i am pleasantly surprised yet again.An year ago, in a popular gym, i used to attend an aerobics class early mornings.And i was regularly accompanied by some ladies,who had daughters of my age, working at some aerobics steps, much better and consistently,than i and many others did.I was inspired,truly. Memorizing aerobics steps,a bunch of them,took me some days,and thanks to some lessons by some of those ladies themselves, i started loving those classes.Though aerobics didn't work, thanks to my erratic work schedules back then ,and many other excuses,but it still showered me with lots of inspiration to work upon fitness.And many sessions of standing next to senior people,running on treadmills and cardio workouts later, i feel that inspiration is always around,you just need to look past yourself.

And thanks to unlimited doses of such inspiration, i feel fit,beautiful and confident by each day.Ofcourse,hard work and much of it paid too :)

And finally Justice!!

So, we got the much sought after justice today,@ 7:30 am.Yerwada Jail,Pune,India.Kasab is hanged. How i come to know of the news-Facebook.Ironically,news travels faster than Ajtak/TOI or our local newspaperwallah through over virtual avatars,on facebook where we live a second life,atleast most of us and am in the list ,somewhere in the middle .
Nov 26,2008. Mumbai is shattered.Shooting,hostage,crisis and tales of horror somewhat later.166 people killed.Ajmal Kasab is caught, of the other 9 responsible for shaking peace in one of the fastest cities of the country. Interrogation,hearings and years of VIP treatment. The common man is grinded all the more, over the yearly budgets,to shell out more and more to feed some killer mouths. The average middle class man stoops in his early forties now,thanks to inflation,unemployment,peer pressure, sky rocketing prices and an endless list of etcetra, leaving him no time to think of health/peace. Well, besides all these terrible details,almost 4 years later, today,the verdict of Mumbai attacks comes into effect,hushed and undeterred. Kasab is no more and people are cheering of victory.Justice has  finally been done,4 years of patience being paid off. Eyes of those who lost their dear ones,have lit up for a brief moment, in admiration of government's efforts to pay homage. They will finally be moving on,soon ,with the last bits of some harsh memories, lying somewhere in a Pune jail,have been put to sleep. But is it really justice?? Are we really happy or are we fooling ourselves? It is not denying that it was a wake up call to take the long pending action against Kasab but a big question still looms.How many like these still need to be executed?How many more Kasabs are lying in Indian Jails,enjoying and eating away the hard earned money of the taxpayer?How many case files, gathering dust,are lying somewhere hidden in corners of cupboards,some of them speaking aloud to be identified and looked at,before its too late?How many cases which fall in the category of "smaller ones" need to be addressed on time?Shouldn' t we swear justice  so fast and strive for settlements before the people who seek justice,breathe their last. Shouldn't we produce more lawyers? Err,honest lawyers.Shouldn't we set examples so that those hands never become strong enough to commit heinous acts.While i applaud the Indian government for taking a big step and setting a much yearned for example,that Justice arrives,better late than never, I wish and hope that next time around,Justice comes,with the batteries of system recharged and wish there be a new sunrise,each day,for someone,somewhere,waiting for it so badly.

No idea how it works :)

Bringing the child within you!

When did i stop being happy at smallest of the achievements??When did places  stop fascinating me the way they used to?When did i stop making silly jokes?When did i stop enjoying teasing some of my favourite people?When did i stop laughing out loud? When did i felt like dancing but then felt too lazy to get up and play some music?When did i leave the child in me behind,in my rush to move ahead? Lifestyle changes?Spending time alone?or is it just that there are bigger things to focus on?

I fear becoming fatal,fear losing that sense of humour, fear growing up in heart of the hearts.When you see more of life,you grow up.But the farther you go, the more you learn,they say.Have i moved too far?Or am i  still at the starting point,making a fool of myself imagining i am way ahead?Or am i not planning to move?Point blank.I am willing to,though.

The child in me- Come back as i am bored :)

People who inspire!!

Every now and then, there are few people you come across out of a sudden,who inspire you in the most unobvious ways, flashing  as figments of little coincidences and somehow end up putting thoughts and at times goals just when you ae about to hit a block. And an inspiration landed on my social network,recently.I was just flipping through a friend's pictures on Facebook,when i came across profile of one of my chirpy seniors,and went through a little flashback of my college days.Super smart,witty, confident,frank-she is a beauty with a lot of brains!And she will be  a proud passout of the one of the best institutions of India soon.Completely flattered by the vitality in her pictures and her achievement,i salute her for being what she is!And am inspired-at the moment,to retrospect and set goals!Live more each day and shape each one more meaningfully. Look around,and you find many faces everyday who inspire you in their own ways, helping you find one of the  right paths  in that maze you created one fine day to be solved later, you just have to take the cues and find your calling.Before its late.And i hope i shall find my calling too,soon!!

P.S. : You don't always need role models before you become one!At times,it is just looking around and looking within,that works perfect.And holding onto it,ofcourse!

One Wish down :)

 

Flurry :)

So, it was a  small yet one of the most awaited events in my wishlist so far.The first flurry of this season- and my first ever :) I stepped out to the balcony and it lay there,a white sheet of moist,tender flurry covering the once-lush green trees and the sparkling grass.And it was so beautiful. One of my wishes since i was a child, i always wanted to see fresh snowfall.And as i realized i am one wish down my long wishlist, i feel at place and at peace. Without the uh-its-awesome excitement that drives me at times.Guess its the "desire" that contains the excitement in your wishes till  they become true,and then you feel at place and as if it was all meant to be always.Well, i have always dreamt of making a snowman and i hope that will happen soon. :) And while am busy fulfilling wishes, i am making sure i dont run out of them so i am keeping the count up by adding more,in a while.

And while i silently recall my recent wish ,i wish,pray and hope for " one wish" to  be granted for all those i love.And i just hope that the diwali prayers work for them and may they be lighted with the things/people they want the most.And may they be talking of  many many wishes down their memory lanes,with smiles and happiness giving them strengths at all times.

I am filled with a certain elation and the beautiful scent of the snow outside and little hums,of people enjoying the first flurry outside.

Thank you,Mother Nature for the snowy diwali surprise!!

Measuring depths!!

I keep on checking myself for the changes, good,bad ones,silently trying to flush the negativity that engulfs me now and then, patting my back for my good deeds. And i realise how fast we grow and shrink back like springs.Opinions hurt and i just admire and salute those people who sustain,and nourish in  competitive times of today without much opinion about anybody in particular.I try hard but i  fail and end up tagging people as "in" or "out". At times, i do succeed in being neutral and  end up discovering that i don't like judging people who do not matter much.Specifically, gauge is a word more apt to explain the vibe you attach to people around you. We all gauge people in some way or other and extend our belongingness in the scale accordingly. But in many situations, the world doesn't seem to fit in our measurement.And we are left with a choice- to just gauge ourselves and and try fitting in different vibes, than we would have wanted to.And we learn.Learn to look beyond ourselves,and as to  how far we can stretch before our tired thoughts and accustomed notions want a break and want to be in their relaxed state,where they can measure someone, the same old way again.Without feeling the guilty ofcourse.And as i gauge bits of people somewhere,in random moments, i just wish i stop gauging much and start living more.Like the people around me who are the pillars of my strength.
P.S. - May i never be able to gauge the love that holds me together.

The colors of life!

Every now and then,you look at people and want to be like them or live a life they are living.But  in that process,what you don't realise is that you are just mixing up all the 'cons' you have currently with the 'pros' you see out there in the greener side.Like others,happens to me too.And then i ponder hard to compare, fret a bit, feel like a helpless soul, on the verge of losing peace  and after a brief span of time, bring myself back.Self contentment, you are forgotten very easily, arent you?? But is it always about asking for MORE? or somewhere deep within,you long for things you feel you deserve but haven't yet got the chance to claim? Or is it about an ego boost? Or is it about bringing back the memory of your long lost dream? Whatever,i just feel  working for what you think you could own than regretting later  is the best way to save yourself damage.Just sometime ago, i watched an episode of big boss and i loved  a statement by Navjot Singh Sidhu " Always look towards the sunshine and you shall never see the shadows". Besides all his high talks, i loved this one as it really made me think for a while.About looking at the brigher side of things.One way is to look at the night  expecting the lights to be  out soon so you may sleep and get rid of the chaos, and the other is to soak in peace expecting a beautiful day ahead.  Because we could never see colors, if it wasnt for reflection.Reflect your best and you shall get the best.

Elections 2012!!

There has been much hype about elections out here,for the prestigious presidential post of States.I got a chance to watch two Presidential debates earlier and i felt both Obama and Romney stand fair chances.And today,as millions vote for their favourite and head back to the work later, on this cold day, i wait for flurry (announced by the weather men).And there has been a drizzle but no first snow.Good because i  would have missed touching the first snow, as i was not doing much well today.Well, the elections and the hooplah around it seems to be the word. The history channel has been screening episodes of The president's book of secrets ,Air force one and It is good to be President,featuring much about life in white house, the secret security,air force missions with president onboard and the so called life in a bubble.Interesting and informative, they displayed how much planning,coordination and action is involved in every move the president makes, and how efficiently the staff of huge 400 plus people in the white house itself work to make life of the most powerful person in U.S. better.And a lot easier.It is an amazing country and there are so many things that make it more powerful than others- free trade,freedom of advertising,strong system,great work ethic,open mindedness, farsightedness and the clear cut agenda before every small task is executed are among some of the factors that make this country do so well. But so is our India, in the way it supports a huge population,with less resources and the fight for survival being at its best. And i cant say that which one outshines the other,because they stand on different scales.And as i wait to see who gets the presidential hat this year, i hope my favourite wins :-)

Dream aloud!

There are times when you just want some things to be hidden from others, to be left unspoken and rather not discussed,because you fear if you talk or brag about them,you will lose them.I have had this feeling about exams(and the hardwork that i put in) and the things that i have wanted most in my life.Goal after goal, i have realized that if i keep mum,not dreaming or talking much about things i want the most,i get closer to them and one day,reach them.Somewhere there arise a lot of "Maybes".Maybe dreaming and assuming that i have already achieved my targets might lessen up my passion and want.Or maybe if i think about them more and realize that they are way easier than the first thought, i might start working less harder for them.Or Simply,maybe it protects me from the evil eye.Maybe it will save the disappointment and embarrassment i might have to face if i fail?? so many maybes,for small targets.Crazy, but somehow that has helped me through my high school scores well :-P. And now,when i have him by my side,i still try to persuade myself to think less,at the most happiest moments.Fearing the evil eye or my stupid notions.But this realization isn't that weak.It doesn't fade away now.And somewhere,within,it does make me the happiest person to have found him.And i am no longer afraid to dream aloud and to think about life, some years ahead,with him. And i feel blessed,for all that i have.

The culinary road!

So,after zillions of words about the world of emotions, i feel obliged to write about FOOD,  another love of my life.So,this blog is somewhat inspired by some blogs i flipped through while  searching recipes on the internet. You google a recipe and a moment later,there you go -Pictures,recipes and youtube videos of ladies cooking in plush kitchens, to be precise kitchens abroad, shelling out details of preparing Khoya,sweets and other such food items not easily available outside India.We have ways to survive and flourish almost everywhere we go,dont we? Well, before i get a new direction to my words,i feel like bragging about my culinary experiments at the moment. Way past north Indian dishes(which just needed a little brush up and few calls to my Mom), i am already half way through  other countries,on my menu.Okay,i never cooked chinese, but frequent attempts do speak volumes now.Italian- i am still a practitioner, though with the minestrone soup i cooked today,i feel like a real winner. Success at  eggplant parmesan cheese  did the wonders too. :-) Baking has been one of the challenges which i have been trying to win over since long.But what with the coil ovens which just work wonders, i felt like winning an old battle,when i baked my most delicious cake some months ago.Though i dont bake much now,but  i still remember the terrible feeling of  wasting a lump of half baked cake( when something or other goes wrong) :-P.  Yes there are failures too.But that shouldnt deter you from trying,they say.Be it soul finding or kitchen,you gotta try till you feel you are done.And that you are never done. :-P


I wonder how much more can i brag about the moments i spend in the kitchen, among whistles of a pressure cooker , the zrrr of a grinder or  the crackling noise of spices,  surrounded by  flavours of dishes i manage,or cook well at times.Cooking is an art, and you have to be really patient to hit the perfect spot.and i still got many miles to go before i create my own masterpiece.And when i see some people cooking the best of the dishes, i feel awed by the effort  and love they put in their masterpieces.

A Long Way!!

Did it ever occur to you to look behind and flip back on old times?See the people you have left behind,and check upon where they are,what's happened in their lives or have they changed?Facebook,and its constant updates help you look and get amazed at some makeovers,the checkins keep you updated about recent whereabouts,or some people make sure they update even the slightest happenings on their profiles,making themselves crystal clear, or the cover photos of those "who were just some knowns" ,say a lot about what has changed since old times.At such moments,i just wonder "how far i have come"?? With things happening in split seconds, we dont realize but we travel a lot in terms of time.And i wonder i have travelled a long way since last few years.Everyone has i guess.My colleagues,they are all around different parts of the world. Some have had major makeovers,some got married,some did MBA and are back to collared jobs,some are seen reuniting with their friends in US, while some are still waiting for new things and changes to come their way too.Changes, hell lot of them. Attitude,actions,appearances and status- i have had a lot of changes too like others.Isnt it weird that when you place yourself,years ago, and try to relive some small wayward xyz situation, you realize that you remember almost everything about it?And travel back in time,thinking that if it was for now,you could have  thought,acted in a way different way than before.Experience,really is god.And it comes with time,of age.Working mysteriously at times when its supposed to do so,so that by the time you mature,already half way through path B,you realize that path A was easier, but what you lacked then was experience.And ofcourse, you shine on  path B coz time brings that power of self realization within you.And you turn up a changed person. How can you blame yourself, when the most bful diamonds too take a lot of cutting before they really shine?? But the truth is, there is no bigger thing than self contentment and its the only way to cross miles before you depart the world,before you turn back and flip through your life for the last time ever.

The vivid Fall!!

As each day gets closer to my dreamy snowfall season, i just cant get enough of the fall too. A casual stroll in awesome weather in a nearby preserve just left me enriched with the beauty of fall here.The yellow,reds,greens and browns just leave you awe inspired by their beauty and splendour.Fall is one of those times when nature is at its beautiful best.As i clicked this picture and looked above just after that,the faded blue of the late morning sky between tall trees with their yellow leaves,and a slight breeze crossing my face, i just closed my eyes and it became one of those moments when you feel so close to peace. Isnt it so romantic when,as you walk by from nearby gym, in an adrenaline rush,and a cool breeze just sways you along,making you feel elated and the music from headphones,adding to the joy. :-)I love that moment enough to drag myself to gym many times :-P. But yes, those tall trees and the beautiful leaves falling from them,adorning the path, make a perfect walk of happiness.And the mystic beauty of it all just makes me wonder,how seasons change and make life beautiful all around.Just like these leaves fall from the trees, making way for others, to follow their own cycles,they just remind us of the love,care and commitment needed to  make our lives and  those around us beautiful.

Love and bragging about it!

Just ended up watching a "cute" movie about love and friends.Feeling like bragging about it,love ofcourse.Love makes you stupid and insane,by each day.Then why do people fall in love?Reasons galore,or probably reasons beyond what the eyes can see,ears can hear and the mind can comprehend,or in the least,no reasons.In our bid to take along some part of present with us all the time,we fall in love and feel in love with people around us-friends,family( a special zone of eternal love i believe) and strangers( remember your crushes??? :)) Till it is clouded by things which didnt matter till sometime ago,and you slide it in your past,only to cling to something/someone else, to mark the new present?Why does love become much more than an emotion sometimes?Since when did every word put out by that special someone in your life  made your day or bring up the blues?Since when did you lose the power to your soul,just when things go wrong with someone you love.What do you do then?Blame love ofcourse.Love and its ways,ah.But love comes of age.They say,the harder you try to achieve something,the more precious it has had been in your life.Same goes down the love lane.The harder you try,the harder it gets of you.Let loose,and believe in yourself.Your instincts and life beyond possessing some emotions.And it will all make sense.Things unfold,only when you let them.Only when you let them be free.Free to choose.And you see,the whole universe will love you back,once you let yourself loose and love thyself.

Romance!

I came with my girls,shouting and laughing along,
in a moment,dancing to my favourite song.
As my eyes fell on you,they found something,
Touching me through your eyes,i knew it would be a fling.
Anticipation in my eyes,as you moved ahead,
and came closer, your smile saying things unsaid.
And i smiled back at your shining eyes,
And parted soon,waving goodbyes.
But i saw myself staring at you,
finding you walking by today,out of blue.
We both stopped,and you asked me out,
and now you are what i can think all about.
And as we ended our short summer romance,
My girlfriends called out for the night's last dance.

Clueless!

There is something about this space,that keeps me calling over and again,true love maybe,because i start thinking about writing here,every now and then.They say,somethings are good,left in feelings or thoughts,not converted in words.But the urge to pile them on here,takes me on.A one on one conversation,where i can dump what i think/feel or maybe assume about situations,and then let go of those,making space for more sillier things in my small mind,over again.So, i just watched two typical latest hindi movies,about "love" of course. Probably,three.(Cocktail, Ek tha Tiger today and Barfi,last week).And i feel swayed by the thought of this "true love".I used to love the song "yaarian" but after the visuals,it seems more appealing.Anyways,true love,does it exist?How do you know in those few moments where your eyes meet with your "soulmate" and you decide that this is it?or do you?I call it destiny.Destiny,where you search yourself everyday,everywhere and as soon as you find slightest of your reflection and a figment of  acceptance of "who you really are " in someone,you feel that your search for that someone is done and over?Or you keep on reminding yourself over silly crushes and some coincidences,that "he" the one has not yet come,consoling your self till one day that "someone" arrives,and takes you away.Away from all the hullabaloo  of finding a hand to hold onto for life.In paths unknown,the one you are destined with for whole life, makes you learn what is it to be there all the time, and slowly,you fit yourself like a spring,moving back and forth,remaining at the stable state of peace,always.True love,is it just about two people admitting that they "like" each other,probably their appearances,accents or the way they look and behave matches the other,or is it the aftermath,the beyond where you learn to walk together? I wonder  how,in this world,millions of people,meeting randomly,in the slightest expected ways,turn up as soulmates and discover true love.Destiny,the act of fitting up.God knows,some things still do come from heaven,even if we fail to admit.
And i just believe we should thank him for every emotion he imbibes in us,love,pain,suffering,guilty coz ,somewhere these emotions,randomly create love,peace and most of all,create magic!!

Set the world on fire!!

Lets set this world on fire!!


Was looking for this song since a lot of days.It has got something that makes you feel upbeat,works for me.Pepped up!And i loved the lyrics too,they left me awed by the deeper meanings they hold.
There they go, my favourite lines:

"I know you're trying to forget but between the drinks and subtle things the holes in my apologies you know I'm trying hard to take it back so if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down I'll carry you home".

Carry me home,tonight.
 But you cant be on both sides of door at the same time,ironical.He can't be letting her drink and wait for her to carry her,in case she falls down.  
Ever wished you could be on the both sides? Both sides of personas,YOU and ME? At the same time,wonder.We would all have to be reflections then,reflection of each other.So that what goes,comes back.Similar feelings,same thoughts and similar actions.World would be so different then.

I wont give up-Jason Mraz

                                              
                                                       I wont give up!

Can't get enough of this song.Atleast for now.Amazing lyrics,touching video and i love the melody.Listening to the third time in a row,i wonder what makes the song so special."I won't give up on us ,even if the sky  get rough,i am giving you al my love,still looking on!"

The way the word "us" is used,gives this song a warmth and an instant,you feel like relating to it?Or do you?
True love.Period.
Commitment.Period.
Holding on.Period.
Falling upon.Period.

But you can't afford a period in the way you breathe,sleep and eat.Strange isnt it?Love,i see so many tales of love falling apart,all around,in bitter pieces,while some of eternal happiness and mush,here and there.And i wonder,is it the mind or the heart?Heart,probably or mind,or maybe both.Reflexes still work even if you are badly hurt in love,so mind alone may not be the culprit.Did someone say heart?Oh,how can you blame one,when most of the times,just when you managed to convince yourself,the mind stops working.
Complicated,isnt it?
Lets make it simple.
You just love yourself all the time and others are objects.You just do what you think is right.
So,its all about you.
So,never give up on "you" !!

Of keeping in touch!

There are certain times,you feel strange about the way you handle contacts(aka people who are forgotten just when you find your new worlds). And i feel weird at what i do myself too.I still have crystal clear memories of my own,of being with the most lovely friends at work,of the times we spent together,gossiping in cafeterias about who is going with whom,who is doing what and even a single leaf moving would be tracked,thanks to our discussions at breakfast. Well, we would,like many others in IT,talk at length about our disappointments with the system(read the lead and the management) and the way things are being handle out there,the way they could have been better if Mr X would have been handling the team than Ms Y.High end stuff,we could just help them develop a sound framework of "efficient" people,given the chance for that matter.But as it is to no opinions about opinions,we would dwell in our own little world of happiness and carefreeness which the lower levels in the ladder of success,ah or  management meant.Well, i bragged too much about work.Now it is to people who i have cared for,who have made place in my heart and would be remembered,every now and then.Loneliness is a big teacher,the moment you start feeling lonely,or less entertained,all those people who spent that amazing time with you,just come fresh in your memories and you admire the time you had.Strange isnt it?So,i was just wondering if being in touch is good,or letting go?Being in touch adds upto expectations,which require all those people to be on the same page as you,which is highly uncertain,and which amounts to a short lived,sentimental stint of following up and then letting go,sweet bitter style.I just let go at times,i dont hold onto much of my contacts.Not that i don't remember them,but i just feel that bringing along a sense of belonging,beyond those documents,mails and forwarded mails included,get togethers,and unlimited gossip,requires a commitment and a long term connection,one which is reasonable and limited to a few people,who just end up making a permanent space in your life,and are irreplacable,and the rest,cutting up for make shift zones in those areas of your hearts and minds,which follow simple rules of pileup,empty soon,get,set and go again.While those who stay there always may not be so much in touch,but they always end up bringing a smile on your face or a light in your eyes,or probably a slight rememberance with an admiring thought attached to them.Such is life, we hardly know how we choose to hang up,but we do make choices,stick to them,work them up and build beautiful relationships,with people whom we wish to  talk to forever,without even thinking of hanging up...

P.S.: Everyone is still remembered though!

Escapades!

They say pen is a big weapon.It surely is and at times,it could be one of your best friends.For me,well, i plan to be here at my space,for many more years,i hope.Escapades, are the certain somethings that do exactly what your best friend from school would do,helping you escape your agonies, letting you blurt out all thats been kicking in your mind,since sometime.Well,writing is an escapade for me,the saviour which helps me get in touch with my thoughts again, or lets me think over and over that i can still "write" exactly the way i  have always wanted to and lets me recollect and rethink of old times, and leaves me awed at the questions and thoughts which spur up in the moment i start to write.And with those episodes of Sex and the city, i feel all the more mesmerized by carrie bradshaw and the art of writing,and the beautiful concept of putting up columns from real events,ending them with a perfect one liner. Penchant for writing,maybe,i love it when i see rich use of words,the twisted and the subtle lines making you wonder whats more to a few letters put to make a sense, having an impact that you get to ponder,and figure it out later on.And for that matter, i love art too.I love deciphering dot. Deciphering the art pieces,trying to figure out what the artist may have been upto while putting up strokes,those weird fading images having such deep imagination,that you could actually make stories out of your opinions.Artists must be gods,for they do magic on the canvas,the not so obvious strokes,images,mixing and matching of colours, all turning to a bubbling,lively or a grim,desolate one,putting life to a blank canvas sheet and making a masterpiece out of it. In our lives,we do find and turn upto escapades too.So, you had a fight  with someone,lend a ear and start putting the details right away.Or you could simply think it over,shutting your mind,trying hard to grasp the events.Oh, someone said you something he/she wasnt supposed to,go complain to someone else.Tired of boss' antics,call friends,or guys,probably move on with a drink or a self assuring pat.Lost a game, turn up the stakes by practising harder. Suspecting infidelity,go look around,flirt  with someone for a while.Let down at a failure,blabber and work on everything possible, to give a boost to the lost confidence and the spirit.Ego wars,hurt yourself,or someone else, before you could have your peace back.We just ruin ourselves a bit,here and there,somewhere to get rid of suffering.Talk of escapades,its all a need to be taken back to the track. Ofcourse, the one who said the journey is going to be a long one was a wise man.Because the journey is a long,taxing one and you lose yourself so many times,before you get together the bits and pieces to turn up the power pauses to a finish,beautiful in its own ways.And well about the escapades, they will always be there all the time.Silly nothings or big somethings, forgotten the next moment,you feel back on track.And as i read somewhere, the thing about needs is that when you feel them met,you no more think about needing them anymore.

P.S. :Life is a one big escape celebrated at the end of so many little escapades, you just have to figure out the big day,and move on till then..

Flipping back!

As and when a thought crosses by and i remember some things that went by the last year, or probably the year before, or years before, i feel nostalgia and a big transformation growing in me,all the time.Memories-those beautiful green leaves which fell off during the fall last season, losing their way past  the crazy world to places unknown, making way for the "new" leaves.Come this fall and some memories will still shed themselves off me and sink in somewhere unconsciously, till one random leaf on my way will remind me of them.And will induce nostalgia again.How weird,isn't it? Such a change,that we just  change the way we look,think,act and do, while we don't realize much of what we are doing to bring up those changes.We are such intelligent creatures that we build reflexes based on situations we are into,just so that we put the right foot forward next time,just in case we step into the same spot where we just when wrong.And these reflexes work their way for years,if not for centuries and thats how we develop the so called transformation in our lives and of those around us.Wohoo, i feel like Carrie bradshaw!(Been watching too much of the show).So, when something small happens and i recollect what my reaction to it would have been years ago,the comparison assures me of the reflexes working full on,engulfing the immature,naive me.But at times,as they say,you cant stop being a child ever.So,i move out of that zone and be myself as i would have been years ago.And the bad thing about it all being,every year when you blow a candle more to celebrate your stay in this big (not so bad) world,you  move one step away from your older self .You cant bring those things back- the stupor,the restlessness,the childishness,the childhood fights with your siblings,those carefree looks, those pranks with the besties, the crushes,those hours with the books,the tingling in your heart before every exam and the boards results, the campus  placement announcement,your first interview followed by your first job,the times when you felt your heart  pounding at some glances being returned,the best date,the best compliments,the emotional goodbyes,the end of friendships lost while you hop to places(welcome to IT), the moment your heart said yes for someone,the best proposal,the feel of being so special to someone,the start of a lifetime of togetherness,the caring sweet nothings from your brothers/cousins before your big day,the Big Day,and the smile on your face and the racing sounds in your heart as you vow to a start of a life together with someone.Wow, there are so many moments,which  never come back,or do they? Coz i just felt some of them coming for a while,all so fresh in my mind.

So,as i fill a page of my life book each day, i still believe i would see a lot of memories scribbled,just when i think of flipping back again!!

Building castles!!

So, it was a short and unplanned trip to a beach, a national park to be in particular.Rainy day and pleasant weather made it promising to pack up few things for a  so called "picnic" and we reached pretty soon. The best thing about going out,or the weekends is the guilt free indulgence in almost everything edible plus no workouts. Not that it doesnt matter.It really does,alas. :( Anyways,the best part- the drizzle,and the water.Amazing time.Floating and playing with water was never so much fun.The water droplets falling on your face,just when you try to float around,listening to the sounds of a tide nearby, is so heavenly.As we enacted scenes of "simran" and "Raj" running to meet each other in waist deep water and laughed crazy later, i realized that it was such a great thing to be not noticed and do whatever you want,with people not judging you for what you do,wear,say, bla bla and so on.This thing is so not there in India, to our dismay.Castles,i love them,except that they take a lot in terms of that salty sand on your clothes and your hands. We saw a small bucket near shore and in a moment, we were already making our own small hut :).Funny but i liked the effort :). A day well spent,it rained throughout all along the way.


Something that always amazes me about nature is that the moment you are there,amidst its beauty-the waters rustling,winds blowing and the sea and  sky mixing beautifully,or the luscious greens,amazing flowers  and the bright sunshine like the gold,you feel so at peace,with everything around seeming so pure and fresh,and  when you get lost in your "come to real terms" mundane routine,you long for that peace.

Pretence!!

A single word holding a lot of meaning. Pretence or the art of acting what you are not,at times when you should exactly do that.I wonder if i could learn the art of pretending,and becoming what i am not,but i am supposed to be,to just wear the magician cap and do magic,to my and other lives surrounding me.Oh,if it was all that easy! In times of distress,pretence works wonders,be it composure,be it the silence,be it the art of indifference,or be it coaxing other's egos at the cost of your faltering self respect to work out things.But only if you are good at it.I see it all around.Workplaces,relationships,friendships,competitors,and even the biggest enemies- people pretending to be the "Good better best " all the time,just to complicate the chances of recognizing who ditched when,where and how to be found later on. In the spell of  lots of twisted tongues,not hesitating to praise,coax and convince you of being the best, those rehearsed,over the pitch,measuring sweet enough( risking you a diagnosis of diabetes) one liners in your appreciation,and those fake mouth wide open smiles,lies a world anew- a world of clever games,a modified barter system,wherein you just get all the false self motivation for some small favours you do,once in a while.
Pretence,only if could learn you!
Sigh!!

To the walks once again!!

I am about to blabber some more about one of my favourites,walk,all over again.So, yesterday, after so many days,i again felt a strange poise and delight at the odd 3 rounds i made around my block that felt out of the world,yet again.As i put on my shoes reluctantly(i believe a gym session is enough to rid you of mindless eating :-)), blame the developed consciousness to be fit,i grabbed the ipod and had in mind some walking,avoiding the famous,stereotypical Dee Park,which would be as usual brimming with kids,toddlers,pets,older ones playing cards,and aunties gossiping as they try some asanas ,giving an air of Indianness about the whole area. Somehow, i tapped on a devotional album and bhajans started playing on the ipod.I adjusted the earplugs to get an amplified effect as they sounded so divine.The clouds,in orange streaks and purple puffs, let some gleaming sun rays to fall on some of the lucky houses of the society, creating a fairytale effect.The whiff of air playing with the flowery plants,rendered a beautiful scent,as i paced from a footpath to other, enjoying the chants and the sinking in the purity of the bhajan that sounded so melodious,invoking in me,memories of the neighbourhood temple and a feeling that,somewhere i should remember to pray.Those odd 3 rounds made me so happy within,invigorating the lost connection,settling me in a familiarity,a sense of connecting with oneself, though shortlived.The lush greens, ladies walking their babies in prams,couples heading together,all to the Dee Park ,to seek solace in treading a mile or two,around the green cricket ground, the tennis court and volleyball area,watching others around,shouting and making merry.And after some time,when the orange sun finally gives off to a red and its time for the night to take over,they shall recede to their homes,through the same paths,giving directions to their kids to walk on inside corners,to be seen tomorrow the same time.Routines, they manage to keep us on toes,for a purpose.
And soon after,i came home and prayed.Felt so goood and different.

An ode to you!

I wake up by your side,and flashes a wide smile,
having thought of living in a world so worthwhile.
Through the window, i see a sea of blue and white,
Hues of gold,cobwebs of my dreams seem so bright.
The sun has descended,and its going to be a bful day,
with you there is  a new and better everyday.
Zillions of moments of smiles,rants,fights and complaints,
of making fun of those passing by,remembering college times,
or of times when we sit together on a shore,poise and silence of  saints.
The adamant me and the forgiving you,
or a  careful me and a carefree you.
Of mind of a man and heart of a woman,
we are holding on well to the gameplan.
Of moments of care,of things not said,
i will be with you,whatever lies ahead.
Watching the sunrise and set every day,i look at the blue,
and sink in the awe of being the one destined for you.


~For the greatness i see in you each day,my husband!

The windy city!!

As i write scattered miniscules of my random thoughts,winds are blowing too hard outside.The hot summer,though they say this year was a terrible one,has subsided and opened the way to cool breeze,downpours and windy days.The weather telecast just some time ago, informed about the rip currents  in waters today,suggesting to swim parallel to the shore.The mighty ducks have migrated,their quacking fading and emerging as they move about the lush green gardens.No sounds except the winds outside.Yesterday night,it rained.Quite heavily,that i almost got terrified.That typical stormy night and i was lost soon in nightmares of devils and ghosts.:-) Probably, too much of movies :-) Or blame the eerie silence and the lots of sounds,of rain,of the squirrel,who was probably running here and there,seeking shelter,or maybe the buzzing hoard of fireflies,which create beautiful impressions of lights,every now and then.Whatever,i am loving it.You can actually feel the raw freshness in air everytime you step out, making you realize there is a whole quality attached to life here.Technology,you name it and they have it.Organized,well planned and well implemented.More satisfaction,more smiles on faces you see around,more love for life. Everytime you go shop for veggies and fruits, you see so much of them,various forms,varieties,right from farms,unadultered,fresh with those sprinklers doing their part so well that it actually feels like raining shots of water on set intervals.You ponder,and then take the best varieties,peeking at the other trollies nearby and expressions on other faces as they buy along.Lakes,lots of them.Crystal clean roads and facilitated places.Amazing clothes,lots of stuff  in every nook and corner.You can try out new things on cooking as anything you name would be so easily available in any good store you enter.
Great traffic management and lots of greenery around.
And someone to hold on forever,meaning the world to you.
I am loving every bit of  it!! :-)
You never know life's got some surprises up there,till you keep glancing a bit longer!!

Fill the spaces!

How do you fill the spaces,just when you realize that you have been too cruel to someone,showing your "true" side to that someone,with the bitter remarks and "no-good" things pouring out from the idiotic anger zone of your mind,which just wakes up at the wrong times and shuts up when it really needs to act.Just when you realize that logic has no sense,because it always has two sides,your side and my side.And My side always weighs more,no matter what.Ego,is it ego? Yes,it ruins the aftermath of your crisis,all the more.But still ego or no ego,how do you fill the spaces,the gap and the silence that pursues.Happens to me at times,when i feel sunk in the sea of remorse,putting a hand out to that someone,to save me from drowning,asking for forgiveness through some lame words.God,the one who invented "sorry" was a very wise man :-).Or for that matter,was he? Does sorry really means you are sorry,or you are just moving on because there are no ends to the problem you were fighting for??Is it enough that someone wins at the end,you or i?But is it really victory?I wonder.Well, i just wonder why do i end up feeling stupid after a fight,with a best friend,with those who love or with few people who don't matter.And for that matter,ending up lifting the ego  veil by asking for forgiveness later on,but realizing that has  wasted a lot of precious time.Wish there was an erase button,which could just erase,all thats on your mind,making way for a cleaner slate,so you may write memories with that innocent childhood chalk,wiping them everytime something spells wrong.Wish life could be so easy,a slate and a chalk is all what you have needed for a perfect today,tomorrow and day after.

Wayward!

All you need is a tequila shot to blurt out all on your mind,just when the right thing would be to let it go and not talk about it??Oh really?? Perhaps,the easiness to speak up when you are on a high does it.And you end up talking,talking and talking.Putting out all those splinters that you have had subdued somewhere,to be used at a better time and place.

Why i wrote the above lines all of a sudden?Probably that has been on my mind since sometime.I feel like a zombie, attempting to write about tequila,in dead night,when all i can hear is the typing of my keyboard.Probably this space does it.The freedom of moulding and creating my own stories,limited stories makes me do so.Or is it the time again when i am feeling the urge to start writing again.No content though.Actually, some content but i dont want to include myself in my writings.Only the wayward thoughts,no real life. :-)  Real life ..umm.. its better,new and different.Dot.I miss loads of things though- gossips and cafeteria time in the office the most :) I feel losing an older me to a newer changed,less observant,more into histrionics of kitchen, me :) Better but somewhere i miss that abstractness. Well, time.Time does it all.Dot.

Reverberations!!

So,back on my space,after a whopping seven months and lots of changes.A transformation in my thoughts,goals,looks and what not.But i feel completely in place and completely adapted to.I wonder how strange is life,everytime something big happens to us,we fear,of failure,of survival and of whether we will be capable of outdoing expectations.But we learn,adapt and fit in every role we put heart into, falling and rising all the time.A step ahead in life, marriage and life after,seems so different and wonderful.Millions of memories,thoughts and smiles as i recollect upon the ceremonies,celebrations and days after, and i feel the wedding day is something so special,so divine and so different that it will be a treasured memory,even years later.Lot to be put to words,but there is something about some thoughts that you just wish to keep to themselves,coz they are so special and so yours.My heart sinking on exchange of the rings on the engagement day, able to see no one else except "him" and the butterflies in my stomach,moments after the var mala amidst the sounds of ringing bells and shankh and the  lit up faces around,it still remember it all.The holy pheras,the kanyadaan,vermilion and the announcement of marriage pooja succesful,and the rush of flowers from all directions, and a hand to hold on,from then.And a different,new life altogether.A trip to dream destination,knowing each other and lots and lots of pictures.Its like the movie of your dreams playing out loud, till its time to get back on earth :-).And i feel fit in.Completely,as if its been ages.Transformations,they take a lot of time and when they happen,they do so silently without making a hush.Leaving you wondering,just wondering.And as i look back and see people getting settled,friends,knowns,i feel so good and so happy to seeing them move a step higher,like me.As they say,"joining the club" :-) Sometimes,i feel its nothing but the mind.Marriage is "big thing" because you feel it is.Its like some dreams fulfilled,some on the way and some to still follow. But life moves on,so fast.And i will keep on reverberating on my space,i know :-)